jadedshade's profile

jadedshade avatar
AGE: 20
LOC: Saint Rose, LA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 15

My name is Jay Todd and I’m 18 years old. I’m fairly new to writing, but since I have a love and a untapped talent for it, I’m trying my best to get noticed by someone who wants to publish some of it.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / Wrench in the gears
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Cracked sidewalk, graying brick, buildings that tower in all directions like the walls of a prison. Rushing traffic. Rushing people. A man and a woman bumping shoulders, then going on their way without any apology, each disappearing back into the crowd. People rushing to where they have to get – to their jobs, their homes – everyday the same routine: get up, go to work, go to sleep; repeat, repeat, repeat. The people pass by other people, never to know each other, never to care. These people...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Falling Leaves
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Autumn starts in the end of September When daylight darkens, and the winds turn cold – Leaves of the trees turn the colors of ember; Dark orange-brown and bright fiery gold Those Leaves, so colorful, fall from the trees, Their colors like a fire’s dancing blaze – Those Leaves astound as they sail through the breeze Their heart-like colors can’t help but amaze Those Leaves, so pretty, to the naked eye, So pretty their transition green to red Those Leaves, so pretty— so crispy and dry Are prett...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Deep in the woods, from one road fork two, And be just one, I could not walk each So long I stood, thinking what to do Knowing well that I must continue If the end of the road I should reach Of both paths, I took a deep review In deciding which one I should take, The first road old, the second one new, Knowing my choice I could not undo I knew that one road I must forsake In the end it was the newer way Of which I opted to enter, I kept the older for another day But knowing that way leads on ...
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Poetry / Fear
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Black Thick Slimy fog Sucking out The sight As it slides Across The surface Of your skin Chilling your blood, Infecting your subconscious The fog sucks The light away The darkness sets in And you can’t see Your heart bumps As the floors creak They’re everywhere! Someone is out there Outside looking in They’re going to get you Rape you Kill you – And there’s nothing You can do Everyone is watching; Watching your every move Judging Your Every Decision, And laughing At your flaws Your senses tin...
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Poetry / Animism
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
The Sun is a Spirit Holy and bright Conveying us warmth, Conveying us light; The Light is Blessed Giving us sight Holding the day And guiding the night The Clouds are Gods, That guard from above – Who send us their Rain And with it their Love; The Raindrops are Souls That turn into lakes Which turn to Water For us to partake The trees are Holy – Refreshing our air, And producing the fruits For all of us to share; The fruits are Divine, All the colors of the world, Brushed by the paint Of the ...
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Reviews
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Gardenware and the Twelve Steps
I like how you say that your daughter was "methodical, calculating, philosophical, artistic and strong…a genius renaissance woman." That's a very original way of looking at a baby's first steps.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
"It Was July thirteenth, the clouds were settled over a dark Dallas skyline, as the storm grew more violent. " This was an awesome line, the best line in the story. It caught my attention right off... and I wish I could say the same thing about the rest of the story... Honestly, the story bored me to tears... I'm not really big on the music scene. I do know who all those bands were, but not really the lead singers. In any case, this isn't the point. The point is that I really couldn't connect...
Non-fiction / Left Hand of Light
"Cosmologists say this universe is round — and we are living on the surface of it actually, not inside! — so that if you project a beam of light from one end of the universe to the other, it traces a circle." Is this really true? I didn't know that the universe was round and we were living on the surface on it. "This is the story of all life. Dog becomes God, this is evolution. And then God becomes dog, this is creation." Hahaha! That's really funny. Sometimes I wondered if the higher power t...
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / HOW TO BE HAPPY
The stereotypes you have in this story are funny. Like how you say many Americans have Uzi's. "Having an orgasm while sprinkled in fairy dust? Far too messy." Awesome line. "Unfortunately, if you live in the US or Europe you exist in capitalist societies and so are bombarded by adverts to buy, buy, buy! Manufacturers link high aspirations to consuming goods such that purchasing these is THE way of feeling happy." Uh ohh. I feel the roots of a liberal thinker here. Haha. This doesn't seem like...
Children's / Down, Down They Come
Buy a flash drive and save all your writings to it. That way if your computer crashes, you'll still have all your writings. I had to learn that the hard way. It's amusing, but I think it would be a much beter story if you had some sort of resolution. I don't know if that's how it ended or if that's just what you have so far, but I have to say I don't like the ending.
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