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imara219's profile 
AGE:
26
LOC: Carrboro, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 19
LOC: Carrboro, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 19
I became a member recently and love how brutally honest the readers are on this site.
I’ve been a poet for thirteen years, however, only recently have I started to consider publishing my work. I’ve started my own ePublishing company,www.ImaraUshairi.com, which means strong verse/poetry in Swahili. I am working on three different projects; one is a poetry chapbook autobiographical poetry, “My Naked Broken Dreams” filled poems of heartbreak and renewal, a weathered warriors poetry series about the strong woman but flawed women in my life, and autobiographical prose piece, called “The Skin of a Broken Goddess.”
Recently, I published “My Naked Broken Dreams” and plan to publish “The Skin of a Broken Goddess” soon. I’m also converting…
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Little girl lost with pretty brown eyes and baby doll lips put down your cross of self-hatred and blame. Only lonely because of your own makings, yearning to dress up in your mother’s heels to learn what WOMAN means. I plead to feel the roots of my own self-acceptance so you can finally let it all go. The pain of never knowing daddy and the tears to finally understand hurt. I’m crying out, little girl, with soft twists in her hair. Please stop hiding inside of me, drown...
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He was that dude from around the way, hanging on campus offering every big booty his opulent desires. Under the Carolina sky he used carnal goods to unlock our over-nourished truths. At the start of each school year, clocking the college parties, as the drug-stained man our daddy's warned us about. But grown women do grown things, so I decided to pop that thang. He lead our first dance with the white powder. I couldn’t resist his naked propensity for dirty deeds because he offered...
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Love, "Myself, Tom, Stan, and Theodore stood at the edge of the universe," it really pulled me in right away and I automatically became invested. "of the absurd play, because they seem painfully..." It seems as if you have the wrong pronoun here. You were talking about the planet earth so they appears incorrect if you were talking about all of the planets then please make the previous sentence a little bit clearer. "in the land where Stonehedge was" This can suffice with a simple, "in the lan...
"but he always had his book open to page 103" The wording makes me think this is his usually daily routine. That he does this all the time, so I'm a little confused when the next line states he just started. That line really shapes who this character is, in my mind quirky, etc. So when I read the next sentence and see the motivation and even when he started it throws me off. A simple additional word like, "but lately he always..." can resolve that. Her eyes lowered to the book in her thinly v...
I think this can find publication in some Christian forums or magazine. However, understanding the format it did take me a couple of readings to understand the story because some words seemed awkward in certain places. Anyway, I think the poem is solid. It would have been nice to see a little bit more suffering but I still liked how you built the story and narrated the situation. I think more emotion would have brought my depth to the piece and made it more emotional.
"uses to"- Is grammatically incorrect I think the idea and concept behind the poem is interesting but it does need some editing. Your lines do not flow well together, which means that the speed of the poem changes with each line. It doesn't make the poem coherent. Also, concerning your subject you can stand to lose a couple of stanzas. You are moving around what you are trying to say instead of just stating it, as such, it makes sentences longer than needs be. I believe this poem needs someth...
"and memories of other’s times and places." The flow with this sentence is a little off. I don't know if you should reword to another's or possible say of other times and places, but the sentence does need more work. There is good imagery from the start with the description of the cat and where you are, what you are doing. Immediately, I feel as if I am in your head. "She was my tree in life.." beautiful sentence, I feel your connection to your mother but same problem with wording with "to cl...
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