im1grlegrl's profile

im1grlegrl avatar
AGE: 44
LOC: Jackson, MO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 03

I have been writing since before I can really remember how to write.  I find that whole lives of people play out over minutes to years in my mind and so I have begun to write them all down rather than just playing them like a movie in my brain.  

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Poetry / Answering Death
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Answering Dylan Thomas’s Death When time is quickly fading Streaking your life across the abyss In amazement colors ever jading Every memory into bliss And tho dawn approaches slowing From the souls centered veil Thoughts and prayers still yet flowing I know not what life’s end entails In the verse favorited of mine I repeat the words line after line With Dylan Thomas in my mind I say again time after time And as each line passes lips that fail An answer comes to late in time My life and love...
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Non-fiction / Rain's Memory of Me
Version 1
20 Reviews   0 Comments
Some days you wake in the morning feeling as if you have a chance. As if you put your pants on the same way, everybody else does. Like you really do have a shot at competing with the anorexic twenty year olds who don’t even understand their body parts yet, much less their lives. Alternatively, the neurotic thirty year olds who have figured out their body parts and can see they are beginning to shift, so time is always of the essence. However, the days of waking and feeling like you are compet...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / A Fathers Day Cake
Version 1
39 Reviews   18 Comments
Its Fathers Day and I am feeling like I need to say something. At different times in my life I have spoken on a number of subjects ranging from why tax on food should be abolished for food stamp recipients to one stop service shopping for the elderly to why we should be patriotic and of service to our community and country. I have spoken about and on a lot of subjects. In less than a month I will be 40 and I have never spoken about fathers. So I began to think a few days ago when I found out ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
In your first paragraph you have some things that are probably just oversights. "Raven could help but grin" should probably have a not in there and "at least not to the female vampires" maybe should be "the female vampire". The language of the 1873 portion where she is reflecting over her life needs to be changed. It is sometimes there but not quite and then it comes forward and you lose it all. What I mean is the phrases should be more aligned with speech of that era. Then you also have to c...
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Okay so here is the deal. Not much gets to me as a reader. I do become involved in stories and the lives of the characters and I feel for their plight. This story truly touched me. So much that I cried while I read it and for a while after thinking about my own father and how distant we are and then my own children and how much I dont want that to be a factor in that relationship. Your imagery is excellent. It gets straight to the heart of the situation at hand is open enough to tantalize rea...
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For the most part i like this very much. I do think that in the beginning where you have "into two" is a little wordy. If you read it aloud it is a little bit difficult to get through that part of the poem. I on the other hand love the imagery of "peeling them open". I could totally envision this part of it. Although I love the line "when you thought of me, if you thought of me...I am not sure this should be in past tense as you are talking about everything else in present tense and then a su...
Non-fiction / The Worst of It
The first thing that caught my eye was this; "The view out my one window overlooked a drainage ditch covered over with lily pads and high waving whippoorwills." So the first thing is that would be better to say out one of my rather than out my one as it interupts the flow. The second thing is that a Whippoorwill is a bird so I dont understand the high waving whippoorwills. Are you meaning some kind of plant life or do you mean the bird and I just dont get it? "It was weak, weak as I felt and ...
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I am confused by a couple of things. I do not understand a church/synagogue/mosque that ends up being a soup kitchen. That just seems odd to me. Also you go through this entire experience in a single paragraph. That alone made this a difficult read even considering the length of the piece. I love the title of this piece but I dont think it shines through in the body. Perhaps if you were to pull it apart and really dig into it this would come around. I want to be able to hear the city and smel...
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