greggelz has no favorites yet.
greggelz's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: Peekskill, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 17
LOC: Peekskill, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 17
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Lambs will eat the lions ... someday.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
i, supernatural i am the only thing to be believed in i have a flesh, a blood, a motion but i am not a fable unless you poeticize me in verse i wear no robes of distinction no oil drips from my feet i wield no sword of justice i claim no link to the fathers in fairy tales i am the ancient product of sweat and thought and lust and hot breaths love and discipline same song but different dancers i claim the fire supreme from the loins of my father i claim the calm water of a mothering to...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I am just soft flesh and easy bone I wonder which way the wind has blown I hear the rush of the cyclone I see danger in the safety zone I want to be safe and not be thrown I am just soft flesh and easy bone I pretend I am a wayward clone I feel just fine all on my own I touch the earth as if it were my throne I worry our pebble is an insignificant stone I cry because I recognize the unknown I am just soft flesh and easy bone I understand what I've outgrown I say "Life you can just not postpon...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
13 Reviews
2 Comments
an airport made of leaves when you landed you scraped your knees i never said you had to come back down in fact i kind of liked it seeing you as you were a horizontal adjective your time in flight was so short lived but i never said you had to come back down a landing strip of dirt you touched down to prove it could work i never doubted you for a minute somehow i just hoped it so seeing you as you are a dream we wish we all could live your time on earth was prospective but i never doubted you...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
3 Comments
I posted up a sweet refrain la-la-la ti-da-da-da the snow craze has capitulated and and my mind is somewhere else la-la-la ti-da-da-da you young kids and robins always playing weight I, remarked I I could fly back in the day some places stay green some things gray la-la-la ti-da-da-da I could fly back in the day
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
it's a little sparse and i wish i knew what you were talking about. you could use a space between your two sentences to give it the appearance of length ... i feel that the ambiguity and the lack of a title hinders the ability to publish but there is imagery and it does show that talent is there.
it's quite repetetive in the I's (but I know thats what you want) and needs punctuation and new spacing ... you could even remove the and for example: I force you out of my mind and with ease you storm back in it, please tell me why you stert things that you're not willing to finish? could become I force you out of my mind and, with ease, you storm back in it. please, tell me why you start things that you're not willing to finish? or I force you out of my mind, and with ease, you storm back i...
Your writing is obviously where it needs to be. You flow well and you told a solid story. My only wish for the work would be more line breaks and paragraphs. I find it very hard to read a story that has run-on paragraphs and no space to rest your eyes. I thought you did well with your characters in the limited time we had with them, and that you could even use them again.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
