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AGE:
35
LOC: Columbia, SC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 18
LOC: Columbia, SC
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 18
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I hadn’t seen Kevin in forever. He got scooped up by Karma and swept off to California to work on some super-secret project involving world domination and, for all we knew, time travel. He was the lone wolf, the alpha geek and, oddly, the party animal in our cadre of college friends. Considering all that, I was surprised when he told me he was getting married. You know how it is, right? Your cell phone rings, or, more likely, your email dings. You see this name on the screen, one that ...
Version 1
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Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Version 2
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SENDER: Joseph SUBJECT: Come back Please come back, Philip. I don’t know where you’ve gone. I’m looking everywhere. So my name is Philip, he thought. He didn’t know who Joseph was. He didn’t know much of anything else either. He pressed Delete. He saw the city for the first time, unburdened by memories. Is this what being born is like? A hum began deep in his chest, a tune he had no words for. It swelled and burst into unashamed song. People all around stopped to...
Version 1
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SENDER: Joseph SUBJECT: Come back Please come back, Philip. I don’t know where you’ve gone. I’m looking everywhere. So my name is Philip, he thought. He didn’t know who Joseph was. He didn’t know much of anything else either. He pressed Delete. He saw the city for the first time, unburdened by memories. Is this what being born is like? A hum began deep in his chest, a tune he had no words for. It swelled and burst into unashamed song. People all around stopped to...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I hadn’t seen Kevin in forever. He got scooped up by Karma and swept off to California to work on some super-secret project involving world domination and, for all we knew, time travel. He was the lone wolf, the alpha geek and, oddly, the party animal in our cadre of college friends. Considering all that, I was surprised when he told me he was getting married. You know how it is, right? Your cell phone rings, or, more likely, your email dings. You see this name on the screen, one ...
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Cute! I like the second line, would probably change 'hunts' to 'prowls' or 'stalks' in the first, and the third could be tighter.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Clever. Is it a poem or a short story? Great imagery, but could probably be cut down 100 words and pack more punch. Myself, I'd like to have my cake and eat it too :)
You say a lot in just six words. I like. I had to read it a couple of times to get it, but "no matter". Bonus points for the rhyme and two-word sentence symmetry.
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