gradyperlson's profile
AGE:
29
LAST LOGIN: January 14
LAST LOGIN: January 14
Well, I am from Sanford, North Carolina and have been writing creatively for about 10 years now, starting with poetry then moving into fiction. I have written several short stories and published my first novel 3 years ago. The way I see it, I’m going to write regardless of publication. If it happens, it happens. I enjoy creating these stories enough to keep me satisfied in the meantime.
I joined the site because I love to receive feedback on my work and became somewhat addicted to writing workshops in college. So I would be grateful if any of you take the time to read what I’ve submitted and let me know what you think, good or bad. If you have some writing on here that you would like me to look at, feel free to send me a messa…
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Version 1
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1 Comment
The stoplight at the intersection of Agado Street and Maple Avenue blinked an even red as Gerald Moretz pulled to a slow stop. It was the middle of summer and 2 AM brought a cool breeze between the large metal buildings of New Bethel's warehouse district that moved through the openings in both front windows of the borrowed Buick Le Sabre he found himself driving. Looking both ways to assure himself that the empty street was indeed empty, Gerald pushed the automatic gearshift into park and le...
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Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
The huddled mass shifted and a face appeared from the bundle of heavy red cloth, shivering and pale. Pete sucked a stuttered breath of air as he pulled the blankets tighter around him. Greg stared at him, snapping another twig and throwing it into the small teepee of wood that should have been a blazing fire. He diverted his eyes to where the trees ended and a short slope led into the town. The bright snow hurt his eyes, toying with the faint headache he’d had since he opened the shelter door...
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Wow, I'm falling behind. I just noticed that you've already uploaded the next two chapters, which makes me happy. I thought this has enormous potential and was the first thing I've read on this site that actually made me wish it had another 10 pages to read. I almost wish it was a little less polished so I could give a more critical review, but to tell you the absolute truth there was only one thing I had a problem about and that could stem from my own ignorance more than anything else. The s...
I thought this was a well-written and overall sharp poem. You did well in making this a visual poem, which, in my book, makes it a great one. I do have some critical points to make, though. First, in the second line of the first stanza, I would get rid of the word "his", as I feel it weakens the line. I tried reading instead "shoes are torn, ragged things" and thought it packed a little more emphasis to the shoes. It just seems to fit better, as you didn't begin with "He paces..." I would als...
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Overall, I thought this was a well-written and effectively visual excerpt. You have a distinct writing voice, even on the tightrope of cliche that threatens anyone attempting to write in the fantasy genre. I can sympathize as I am just finishing my second novel, but first attempt at fantasy. I feel you made some good choices in this opening chapter, but there are some aspects I have to question. I feel that you describe Esterl a little too late or rather that describing her in the same breath...
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I know the score that I gave this work is not really a positive, but I will start off by saying that I sincerely think that you have talent. You have a knack for sentence structure and your voice really comes through in your writing. This is the basis for any writing and since you have that, I think that, given the proper subject matter, you might have a future in this. Having said that, I don't think this works for public writing as much as it does for a personal writing exercise. Part of th...
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