glamourous_ghost's profile
AGE:
33
LAST LOGIN: July 23
LAST LOGIN: July 23
writing is something i have only recently wanted to explore. i am more invested creatively as an artist, but i am believer in diverse skills promoting insights.
i want to one day just be able to write in a manner that is at least not idiotic or dull.
thank you for your time
Items
Version 3
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junior was the big boy who lived across the street. he was the tallest mexican I had ever seen. we were both 13 and never talked. he lived in the yellow house with his graying parents, who were old as crickets. junior was their youngest of four. the small bungalow house was on the corner of mistletoe and mcCullough. its lonely dirt lawn kept company with a dying live oak. they had an endless parade of animals that came with the holidays: dogs in the summer, rabbits and chicks for Easter, dove...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
carry me honey bunny to hop these hills where a sweet tossed dispersement is burnt through the distance of words, add total sunlight wide on an azure plus reflecting heaven and allowing a change in desire's golden front. those night objects fingering beginning light move in a frequency of hues harmonizing, moving, exhausting themselves eternally. Thus to give to fire is beautiful gluttony, and the sum of all final finalities. take me in the coat of your wild rabbit hands diving into deeper gr...
Version 1
5 Reviews
3 Comments
blossoms of our magnolias ignite the color rising over death and days flushes over your face like a red dawn. expired your deep breath in the course of ranged echos that hollowed through the glass of me like a choir outside magnolia street so quiet the fresh year and the january slowly siphoned the precipitous calidity down from the bone of us. hegira with excuse and regret i drew fire and watched you run demolishing me back into the darkness, the smoke, and the ash.
Version 1
39 Reviews
3 Comments
junior was the big boy who lived across the street. he was the tallest mexican i had ever seen. we were both 13 but never talked. he lived with his mother and his father who were as old as crickets and just as quiet too. They had a dog named Bobo, who was about the only friend that Junior had. Junior was strong as a bear. His hands were the size of plates and when he fixed his minotaur eye on you, there existed an eternal vacuum. Junior who was younger than me by a month would sometimes run ...
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Reviews
i almost never give out 10's, but i feel that in this piece it warranted the highest honor this site could bestow. there are several reasons i enjoy this poem. there is really a perfect balance of whimsy, cheer and focus of content without the writing becoming bogged down by sentimentality or clumsy phrasing (which i think is often a pitfall of capturing a childlike exsperience). my only real advice would be to strenghten the connection between the metaphor of the giant and your father. thank...
i read some of the crits of this piece and i couldn't disagree more. this poem is really good. the imagery is strong and the syncopatic cadence works well to reinforce that this is an event that is happening both quickly and surrealistically, where some parts seems to glare memorably while sandwiched with other parts that dim. i really enjoy too how all the physical materials in this piece are somewhat impersonal (e.g. nurse's uniforms, jump rope and the fence) objects that deal with some sor...
you are the first person i have ever given a 10 to. i did it not for the quality of your writing but for the questions you are willing to ask of your religion (so i assume). although i am not a christian, i have read the Bible and thought i would add my 2 cents here. for your first question: the swearing on the Bible is actually just a formality of the courts. many groups such as the quakers do not swear oaths but instead 'affirm' their testimony or legal actions. the second question: Matthew...
overall i really enjoyed this piece. it was an excellent read and it really captured a sense of dated time. i found the rapid offering of larger historical events intertwined with personal anecdotes to be quite beautiful. it seem to me to convey an idea that these events, your family and yourself were histories of equal importance. my only real criticism is with your last paragraph. you seem to do a great job in describing your mother, that the final paragraph of your father seems to read has...
while i enjoy the structure of this piece i wonder whether it is a poem. good poetry is made up of intelligent metaphors and creative ambiguousness. this piece has neither and it seems it would work better as an essay, or prose piece.
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