flaxeloquent has no favorites yet.
flaxeloquent's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Towson, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 24
LOC: Towson, MD
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 24
I am an aspiring writer of children’s books, and have a particular interest in humorous children’s poetry.
Items
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I’m racing with my ice cream in the sizzly, sweaty sun. Mid-hot-day in mid-July, ice cream sure can run. Wait! Slow down! Don’t finish yet. Chocolate mush that lingers is worth a sticky shirt to me along with sticky fingers. Careful bites along the rim. First, use up the cone. Too bad ice cream—best for last— can’t stand up alone. “Aren’t you gonna finish that?” Tracy asks. I start. Makes no sense, but Tracy swears the cone’s her favorite part.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Doing brave and adventurous things! Saving everyone else from disaster! Outrunning a bear that eats children’s hair, though the bear’s running faster and faster! I’ll hold a whole earthquake in place. I’ll spit ‘til I put out a fire. I’ll block a huge flood with piles of mud, though the flood’s rising higher and higher. I’ll run ‘round the room to get strong, ‘til table meets toe. Oooh. Stub. Ouch. There is one place to put my adventurous foot. Yes, I’ll bravely sit down on the couch.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Bread, baloney, mayo, bread. Same old filling, same old spread. Every day at noon, I dread bread, baloney, mayo, bread. Bread, baloney, mayo, bread. The taste remains. It fills my head. Bread, baloney, mayo, bread. Give me something new instead! I ask my Dad. I beg, “Please, Mommy?” Yes! Success! I’ve got salami.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Koalas are marsupials. Koalas aren’t bears. I tried to teach this fact at home. It seems like no one cares. See, bears don’t come with pouches, but, see, koalas do, and every time you say it wrong, I’ll keep correcting you. Don’t tell me this distinction has caught you unawares: koalas are marsupials. Koalas aren’t bears.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Zoe has new sneakers that were in a magazine. (I know because she showed me. It was one I’d never seen.) Zoe knows the newest songs, and which are dumb and old. (I might think those are new and still ok, unless I’m told). Zoe sees my juice box, and she tells me what she knows: “That drink is dumb and dorky! Only little kids drink those!” Yup, Zoe’s got the info, from shows to clothes to food. I sometimes want the things she has. (But not her attitude.)
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
Claire, To ignore the subject matter, as you asked reviewers to do... as a blog piece, I think this works. It shares what you're thinking and feeling, and does so pretty effectively with language that appeals to the senses and details like "collecting fingernails and uneaten lamb shanks." If you ever want to use this as anything besides a blog entry, I would work on making things a little more subtle. You do a good show of "showing" with your details, but you also "tell" how you feel, when yo...
I like this a lot! It makes readers think about an issue that is relevant to many of us. I've often been on the other side of this issue; I was an English major in college and I am always thinking about language, and of course, English is my native language, and I know I often notice the way people say things at least as much as I notice what they are saying, and it's something I am trying now to be careful not to do. It must be frustrating to have to worry about what the correct way is to sa...
You've done a nice job with this! I like how you have taken one thing, blood, and looked at it from a number of angles, especially because you included both positive and negative images when many of us tend to associate blood mainly with negative images. Good luck!
Hi, I enjoyed this set of lyrics. It has a nice rhythm to it, and feels like a song that I would enjoy listening to. One thing I would consider is turning some of the familiar phrases, the ones that have appeared in many song lyrics before, into more unique phrases that show what's special about your particular experience and what you can do creatively as the author of your lyrics. For instance, you say, "each day I'll sing just like a bird." Is there something else you could describe that co...
I think you've got a good idea here - there's always plenty to say about how confusing our own heads are. I would take another look at the rhyme and meter. For instance, "sleep" doesn't quite rhyme with "peace," and the second line is much longer than the first. Good luck!
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People
