fallenangel4294's profile

fallenangel4294 avatar
AGE: 18
LOC: Williamsport, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 29

I’m 16….mainly it’s hard to describe what kind of person I am. It’s hard for me to tell people how I’m feeling, so the only way for me to get my feelings out are to write them down. I have this block around me you can only penitrate by reading my poetry.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Novel Treatments / Cold Heat
Version 1
8 Reviews   1 Comment
I swear, the closer it got, the more it was intensified. And by it, I…well, who knew what to call it? One of the abilities wasn’t such a shock for me, but the other one…. I mean, I had these feelings, and I’ve had them all my life, like bone deep feelings that something just was. Like it was a fact. And usually, the feelingsI had turned out to be right. How creepy was that? The shocker of the two were the sparks that would form on my finger tips the moment I became angry. The first time it ha...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / The truth 1-3
Version 1
18 Reviews   0 Comments
The truth is pointless to tell right now and even if I wanted to tell, I had Cole’s warnings ringing in my ears. He knew I believed it was my fault that he's living his life as a wanted man. I swear I never meant for it to happen. If I could have avoided going into the parking lot that night I would of, but I knew there was no use wishing for something that couldn't happen. As I lay there in the hospital, I remembered two nights before, the last night I spent with him. It was his 20th birthda...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / The truth 7-9
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
My mind wondered back to my 16th birthday, which had been bad up until the point where I walked into my front door. Before that, my boyfriend and I were sitting in his car. Figures he was breaking up with me again. "On my damn birthday? You're breaking up with me on my birthday?" I cried. "Today is just as good as any other day to do it,” he said. Damn it, Ben. On my birthday, though? How heartless are you?" I snapped, getting out. I slammed the door and he sped off. It was so cold out here, ...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / Him
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
Touch my face, I’m saying I’ll wait, something so strong, something so true, I have a reason to pray, a reason to believe. And when everything seems so wrong, you’re there lifting me up, into your strong arms, with words meant to sooth. I can’t tell you just how you make me feel, its something so deep, something that can’t be put into words. This love almost makes me numb, but this time in a good way, I wish I could know it’ll all be all right. How many times have I fallen, and how many times...
Ratings & Rankings
Novel Treatments / The truth 4-6
Version 1
5 Reviews   0 Comments
Now I didn't know where Cole was. I lay here, thinking about how I woke up yesterday all alone. Well, I wasn't truly alone because Detective Muller was here, but I felt alone. I felt like Cole had abandoned me. I knew he hadn't, though. I knew he only chose this so I wouldn't die. I don't know if I should thank him or be angry with him. "Riley?" I heard Mike's voice ask. I opened my eyes and I saw Mike. "Hi." he told me. He was sitting beside me in a chair. "Where's Cole?" I whispered. "He's ...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Young Adult / Beyond the Cave Ch 2
“Uh – I’m sorry Dean – "I'm sorry, Dean" Comma. I though I knew every picture in this room. "Thought" I get the impression that Gran cares about Carrie, but in the first chapter, you said they were like strangers. Also, you say that she's never been in her room, but they decided to paint one of the rooms, the 3 of the 4 walls, different colors. If Gran didn't care about her, she wouldn't have let her do that. I'm a bit confused. “…Davis…where are going?” * Word missing As for the italics, i t...
Carrie could he was stressed about something.* You forgot a word there. I'm not very far, but who is Gran? She didn’t think was a big deal.* Also, word missing. Davis was saddened by the fact that she could get through to her brother* "couldn't" For the first time Carrie could sympathize Dean* Word missing Carrie was more than a little worry about her friend* "worried" and he pick up a magazine* "picked" Davis heaved a sigh. “Well I guess we’ll just have to go looking for her.” "Well" then, a...
Young Adult / Untitled
Just some suggestions: but I’m still breathing and kicking.* Wouldn't it made sense to say alive and kicking? After a 15 minute walk of shoving and pushing, we finally reached our destination. Food.* Maybe "food" should be on the next line, it would just sound better, but it's up to you. his deep blue eyes are worth swooning for* Technically, you can't swoon "of" something, but you can swoon "over" something. “You should have said, dad has several rackets at home,* Said "something"? “Oh, you ...
Young Adult / The Mystic Ruby
Locked
Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Game.
“Okay what’s her name? " Should be "okay, what's her name?" You just forgot the comma. “Yes Tate.” should be "Yes, Tate?" "Babe to ball in the first place." Play ball* "This is a tavern not a gas station.” comma between tavern and not. "temples to for stall the coming headache." Extra word. delete "for" When you go over your piece, look for the things i just gave you examples of. Mainly you just have grammar errors. Other than that, the peice if great. Though, I think you should break down s...