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ethanchrist's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Winter Springs, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 20
LOC: Winter Springs, FL
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 20
I’m Ethan.
I accept all friend requests.
I’m always willing to sell out, so if any agents or publishers are reading this, don’t hesitate to get in touch.
I plan to update my novel “In Love & Domination” with a new chapter every Wednesday from now until the book is done, so keep reading. As an early guess, I’d say there are going to be twenty to twenty-five chapters total. Revisions to chapters and works unrelated to the novel may appear sporadically over the next couple months.
Thanks for reading!
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Version 1
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An hour and a half of being locked up in a doggy cage and listening to Isabelle’s unrelenting barks brought Tiff’s headache back with a feverish new gusto. “Are you ready to call Robert now?” Tiff asked, slowly massaging her temples. “We’re gonna get out of this, Tiff. Don’t worry about it.” Tiff heard Candy reply from behind the beige plastic wall of another cage. “Don’t worry about it? What do you think? That they’re just gonna to let us go?” “No, but…” An empty can of Bud flew over the co...
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Version 1
9 Reviews
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Chapter 2 “Okay, where do I go from here?” Tiff asked as their car approached the foot of the exit ramp. “I think it’s a right.” Candy replied. “You think or you know?” “I don’t… uh…” “You’ve never been to his house before, have you?” “No, but…” “You don’t know where in Kissimmee this guy lives, do you?” “Well, no, but I know his name and the kind of car he drives.” “How the fuck is that supposed to help us?” “He drives a red Nissan Versa!” Candy shouted out, nearly falling out of her seat as...
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Version 1
11 Reviews
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In Love & Domination By: Ethan Christ Chapter 1 “Tiffany, Tiffany!” Just five more minutes, Tiffany Capers thought as she rolled over on her side, trying to block out some of the noise. “Tiffany, it’s time to get up!” She felt a sharp, pink fingernail poke into her ribs repeatedly. To hell with it, she thought at last and pushed her body up, propping her back against the beige couch. She could hardly open her eyes, but had no trouble making out the pink and yellow blob in front of her. Its na...
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Your story was beautifully written, very detailed, very vivid, and very realistic. I could completely see this being a fantasy novel in a book store. The only problem I had is that, particularly when you're describing Imaseth, you sometimes use details over and over again to describe the area. Like you say the area was nicer than surrounding areas, and that it was comfortable than everywhere else, and that it had been separated off from everywhere else, and that it had been separated off from...
Good job! The setting was clear through the character's dialogue and descriptions of the surrounding areas. You might want to spend a little more time describing Jorik though, because I feel like I hardly know what he looks like yet. Also you describe the town as being rural, but also bustling and busy and that kind of threw me off. I'm guessing that the part of town he's in is busy, but there's a rural area too, but at that point I'd just describe the town as being busy. The story flows real...
I thought this was really good and an interesting take on the beginning of a good horror movie. I like the poetic/stream of consciousness style of writing, though I don't think it needs to be in all capitals. The strange thing is that the character seems to be comfortable in these surroundings and I think you need to either give us a reason for her being so comfortable, or make her seem more scared than she is.
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
One of the best things about your story was that it captured an eighteen-year-old's perspective on a situation like this so well. I love the line "they were so fucking cool" after he describes all of the weapons being unloaded. The only thing I didn't like was that Caleb seemed so soft on Tox. In this environment I'd expect him to be much more of a hard-ass. He might let Tox be a soldier again, but I think you should add something in there where he makes Tox work to get that position back. So...
Your story was well-written and easy to follow along, which can be rare in this genre. But I don't quite understand what about the traveller makes the Council welcome him into the community and even help try to solve their problem. If they're truly war-weary I'd imagine that they'd be highly xenophobic and want to keep an outsiders away from this creation that seems to be so important. Maybe if you included something where the traveller showed them some of his magic or something and then they...
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