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AGE:
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LAST LOGIN: December 04
LAST LOGIN: December 04
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Version 1
4 Reviews
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Lying there with your wings open As if flying was no longer possible As if every breath hurt Locking eyes with you The world stops for a moment We unite, You sting I let you go You prepare to fly Deceiving Knowing Denying Every breath hurts Flying suddenly becomes impossible Your wings alone to damaged to lift you up
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It's very good. I like the color imagery.
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I think this poem was excelent. I loved how you brought in so much emotion and your word choices are very good. Also it has some very nice imagery.
It kept my attention. you have no discription and so the story behind it was confusing. I do like your word choices. overall you did a good job.
I like the rhyme. I like how you fit so much into so few words. It's interesting how the last stanza contains four lines.
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