ekmoore's profile

I really enjoyed this. The juxtaposition of the modern restaurant industry with the well known and loved aspects of the gods works very well. Without being simplistic you make your poem's point clear and imagery forceful. I felt like I was in the restaurant, seeing these characters and their god-like analogs. This was very well done and I'd be happy if I ever came across it in a bookstore.

I liked your repeated use of questions, especially at the beginning of the poem. It added a level of tension, for me, and added to the emotional punch of the rest of the poem. You describe, in this poem, a situation that I think a lot of people identify with, at least on some level. I feel that you've succeeded in creating, in four stanzas, an image more beautiful and universal than any one individual's heartache, but without sacrificing the beautiful little specific details in the poem. it's...

This is great. You paint a fantastic image without stooping to cliches and banal phrases and imagery. You get the emotion across without hitting the reader over the head with an anvil, and you left me wondering at many possible interpretations of your words. nicely done!