easaraby's profile

easaraby avatar
AGE: 37
LAST LOGIN: June 14

First, thanks for visiting.

I’ve been writing for years, mostly published articles in my professional field. “The Light of Pensieri” is my first full-length novel and has been under construction for four years. It started with the characters… beyond that, the story has written itself. It is nearly finished and going through edits now. Any feedback is very welcome.

I live in the suburbs of St. Louis with my wonderful husband and three young daughters.

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Novel Treatments / The Light of Pensieri Chap 3
Version 1
4 Reviews   0 Comments
~*~ 3 ~*~ Cullen labored to remove the saddle from the bay. He was completely exhausted, but knew he would feel much worse when Edan found out about his trip. “He can’t blame me for this.” He patted the horse’s neck and sighed. The horse nuzzled his shoulder comfortingly. Cullen lowered his voice to a defeated whisper. “Maybe I’ll get to rest before he finds out I’m back.” He gave the bay one last pat and headed out of the stable toward the servants’ quarters. The foreboding stone castle loom...
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Novel Treatments / The Light of Pensieri Chap 2-3
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
~*~ 2 ~*~ Jobey didn’t sleep at all that night. He felt like a failure as he stared into the fire from his spot on the floor. His charge was curled under blankets in the chair, sleeping soundly. The old woman and the girl were curled on opposite ends of the mattress, the red glow of their pendants illuminating their sleeping faces. He looked at his arms again in disbelief. There had been blood, he told himself. It wasn’t his imagination. The battle, the clubs, the pain… it all had to be real....
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Novel Treatments / The Light of Pensieri
Version 1
31 Reviews   9 Comments
The wind was howling mercilessly outside the one-room cabin. Snow had drifted up to the roof on the north side, giving the cabin the appearance of a cave in the side of a cold white hill. The spruces and firs swayed in the wind, barely able to hold their burdens of snow above the old shack. Light flickered in the window nearest the door, and tiny wisps of smoke were barely noticeable coming from the stone chimney. The wind was kept out by several layers of boards nailed haphazardly on top of...
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Poetry / Waterdance
Version 1
9 Reviews   5 Comments
Keep the water calm, I say watching the surface wave so slightly on its way to glass Fingers beneath the surface touch an absentminded dance begins under the water the gentlest wave rippling the stillness “hush…” Keep the water calm tranquility is silent, serene, unfettered the glass returns staring… Toes peak above the surface a fine line cuts at the heart the edge is unmistakable Keep the water calm the candle reflects so perfectly but the blade is growing harsh cutting… The edge is unbeara...
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Reviews
This started off strongly. I felt your characters. :-) Kylie and Jennifer are well-defined and sucked me in... both of them. I love how the two points of view directly contrast each other and you've interwoven them so well. Nice job there. I admit I got a little lost through the second stint of Kylie. I had to reread a bit to grasp what was happening there... but that might be because it's after midnight and I usually go to bed by nine. I love the ending segment. Looking at the stars to me is...
Interesting. The description of Klaus and Nicoala is clear to me, so that's good. Nicoala's flippant attitude is evident as well. Save for grammar and punctuation, this could be a good story. I'm left with a lot of confusion, some of which I would hope would be solved with another installment.
Short Story / Time is not important
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It definitely catches my interest. Without knowing how long the novel will be, it's tough to say how the pacing is. For me personally, there are too many fantasy elements introduced too quickly here... I'd rather see the characters developed more without quite as much foreign material right away. This could be accomplished by describing characters' thoughts more and doing more interaction that is not environmentally based. But again, that's just me. For the typical fantasy novel, I'd say this...
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Short Story / Your Hands
Short Story / Inside My Head

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