dwilli16's profile
AGE:
22
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 12
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: January 12
I am South American (Georgtown, Guyana). I live a pretty solid life with stong goals and ambitions. I love to sing with a song in my heart and basically really smart person. lol!!! My passion is writing. I’m writing film scripts at the moment. I think it all boils down to storytelling. Man, i love to tell old and new stories. It’s in my blood. I love beautiful things because it reminds me that this world is not so bad but just masked by the thin layers of pain, hurt and the history. I truely belive that love can peel back all the years of hurt and injustice. I don’t know what i’m searching for… but i’m sure one day someone will tell me. I guess the day i find what i’m looking for, it’s the day I’ll say “What was the point?” and then I …
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Version 3
9 Reviews
0 Comments
FADE IN: INT. MASTER BEDROOM- SUNDAY NIGHT We show an EXTREME CLOSE UP of Felicity’s eyes. Her expression is of extreme distress and hurt. FADE TO BLACK. We can HEAR a heavy body being dragged against the carpet...We hear sounds of Felicity grunting out of frustration and heavy breathing, followed by cries of mourning. Finally, we HEAR the sound of a door slamming. FADE IN. INT. HALLAWAY- NEXT We PAN from around the corner of the hallway to FELICITY HUDSON, 16, braced against the basement do...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
Felcity, 16, is antagonist of the film. She's a strange girl, she just discovered her mom is dead, her mother's obese lifeless body (but unknown to the audience). She hides the body in the basement. She keeps this secret from the rest of the world and her 2 younger siblings. This sudden situation forces her to become strong and start taking cintrol of her life. She starts out as a weak feable, passive, withdrawn pathetic person. She is the eldest of a dysfunctional family. Felicity is very co...
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This story reads fair but i got lost a few times trying to understand the characters forexample, where they came from their motives, why there is need of balance and their emotions. Without this, it begs the question "why should i care?" As a wrtiter, try not to alienate the reader from your dream. I know it's a short story but it needs to be inviting and pack a punch! Some clever writing is evident but there is alot of work needs doing, especially depth.
Fantastic dialogue and characters (especially, Joyclen and Edward). Scene 3 is sexually charged with some kind of erotic murder fantasies and i felt abit uncomfrotable (in a good way) about how comfortable Joyclen was with her charm and sexiness. The directions are fantastic detail and easily visualised. The 2 main characters remind me of Macbeth and his wife but with the differnce of it's more saucy and less guilt-ridden. This is a fantastic twist of the mother-son relationship as it adds to...
The beginning was slow for an action adventure, don't be afraid in just jumping into the story and you don't need to introduce everybody in a pragraph. Instead of "There was once lived a courageuos girl" you could say something like "Hanna was a very courageous girl at just the tender age of 13" or something like that. I do like the thought of the villain in this story is the plague...use this enemy to eslpoit more of human's fear of dying, losing love ones and panic for the lack of a known c...
The beginning of the this chapter has to be strong, clear and capture the reader. The 2 sentences doesn't do any justice or accomplish a strong beginning. Keep working at it. I am glad you have dropped the readers into the middle of the action, but don't forget that you have to leave a few clues of what is happening and why it is happening (motivations), i.e. the terrorist threat and curfew... why is there one? Was there an epidemic of threats and bombs? I'm not saying food spoon us but make ...
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