dukelemoyne's profile
AGE:
49
LOC: Camp Hill, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 04
LOC: Camp Hill, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: March 04
Like a few of the people I’ve met in the short time I’ve been with Urbis, I write all the time, but I rarely finish.
I’ve had a couple of short stories printed in quarterlies, with one anthologized, but I can’t look at them without wanting to go back and fix something. It’s hard to kick them out of the nest, you know.
I appreciate the reviewers at Urbis. They gave me great feedback on the first story I submitted, with a lot of encouragement and some insightful suggestions. And the work I’ve gotten to read and review has been a treat, as well. A variety of writing at all skill levels.
Items
Version 1
24 Reviews
26 Comments
It’s just a cake-- Thick with chocolate frosting, Trimmed with heavy braids of whipped cream piping, Studded with sweet glossy cherries. And the bakers are beside themselves Because people walk up to the window and stare brazenly. And the remarks: “Check it out!” “My God, that looks good enough to eat!” “I wouldn’t say no.” Some folks pass by paying little or no attention Because they have no sweet tooth Or because their own fine cake waits at h...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
33 Reviews
16 Comments
MOON AND JUNIPER INT DECO ARTS HOTEL, SUITE 23A - NIGHT It’s New Year’s Eve, 1939. Deirdre, feeling misty after drinking her share of midnight cheer, sways about the room, humming a broken tune that's supposed to be "Someone to Watch Over Me." Using her martini glass as a dancing partner, she spills not a drop. She glides over to Walter, whose witty good nature has come to the fore. Though he’s enjoyed a few Scotches that evening, he is in command of his senses, and he easily catches her as s...
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Reviews
Wow! Nice opening. Very intriguing. Draws you in so you want to see more, which I do. Formatting - The piece is easy to understand, but strict adherence to format is important to gain attention from a major studio. Please continue. Thanks for the read.
I hope you've found a publisher. This is an important picture of injustice living in America, hiding behind the precept of 'freedom of religion.' Don't wait until your book is picked up. This article is fine enough to stand on its own. Thank you for the read.
Sounds like love...nothing weird, just pure love. Tempered by caution and insecurity -- real life. Vivid episode, with concrete description. Paints her character without depending on dialogue. Watch punctuation. Who or what is Zaxxson? Thanks for the read.
Good establishing of characters in few words. The story draws you in from the start. The ending is a little cliche, but still fits the scene. Thanks for a good read.
I...I'm speechless. I'm no expert, but this has to be one of the worst poems I've read on Urbis. Bravo, author, bravo! The only criticism I have is that the last couplet is almost pleasant; evocative of happy Christmas mornings. Aside from that slight boo-boo, this is a truly bad poem. Thanks for the (strangely delightful) read. Ha.
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