dreasappho's profile

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AGE: 25
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 04
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Poetry / Inferno
Version 1
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Your fingertips Ignite a flame That flickers When you say my name. Your scorching eyes Rage with a fire That’s blazed And craving with desire. White hot coals Burn deep inside. From your inferno I cannot hide. This fever consumes My very being. From this furnace I am not fleeing.
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Poetry / The Fool I am
Version 1
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The fool I am Let me believe, If only for a split second, That you were actually human. The fool I am Let me fall, Briefly, For your manipulative martyr act. The fool that I am Almost Let me feel Sorry for you.
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Poetry / Dirty Laundry
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Dirty laundry Belongs In a hamper Not Aired out For all our friends Your friends now To see Its not bad enough That you let them Invade Every intimate detail Of our So called Relationship You had to take Every article Turn it Inside out Twisting Stretching Bending Every piece Until It no longer resembled Its original shape Then you hung it In plain view To flap In the torrent wind Freely offering Your twisted tale Describing every piece As though it had victimized you You lied Over and over a...
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Non-fiction / Bricks
Version 1
9 Reviews   2 Comments
Santiago, Chile, a city where public co-education was nonexistent, where a woman's options were limited, where fear of the government controlled every aspect of one's life, where families consisted of powerful, domineering men and weak, subservient women, where I was born, and had I stayed, I to might have become one of those women. My mother was a first grade teacher, my father's maid, cook and child bearer. Heaven forbid my father should ever come home and not have a hot meal ready and wait...
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Version 1
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Strip her of her material shell, leave it crumpled on the floor (she might need it tomorrow). Submerge her into a sea of sheets, dive with her, enjoy the view. Explore your body Upon her flesh, Remember to take your time. Satisfy her every desire, Peak her senses Make sure she enjoys every bit Melt her slowly Into the dream verse, Accompany her there. In the morning, Do not shower together, You'll both be late to work again.
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Deleted Item
Be careful with your tense “my hand shakes sluggishly.” I remove the line “muscle curve of sex” completely. It plays no part in the poem. You don’t want to interrupt the “rock back and nervous forth” with a line that doesn’t make much sense to the reader. I really like the line “weaving the vowel of faith” but I have no idea what image you were trying to create using the word consonant. I’ve read and reread, it just doesn’t fit, and it’s not used properly. The next line has multiple tenses an...
Poetry / Tube
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I love this poem. I love your use of imagry, very concrete. It paints a very vivid picture in my mind. You have such origional ideas, don't taint them with cliche's like "warms my soul". Try to get someone to to help you apply punctuation in orger to help emphasize and seperate ideas. Also try using stanzas for emphasis and seperation. Overall a beautiful poem, I loved it and can't wait to read more.
Poetry / PRETTY FACE
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Poetry / PRETTY BROWN
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Poetry / Raindrops

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