donyavangogh's profile
AGE:
45
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 13
LOC: United States
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 13
I write about pain and suffering and going beyond it. I also write of life’s questions and human nature.
Aside from poetry, I’m an artist that has sold 80 paintings my apartment in 2003. I moved from my home town of Olympia to Las Vegas for my husband’s job and have not networked nor tried to sell any paintings. I’ve since sold another 20 acrylics without really wanting to. I have hesitated to join any gallery due to their commission requirements. I will most likely move in that direction when selling out of my home ceases. If you have myspace, please feel free to drop me a friend’s request. It may help to email me so I can screen you from any spammers. My address is www.myspace.com/donyavangogh
I love writing, it’s a way to shar…
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Items
Version 4
3 Reviews
3 Comments
I am a Pawn on a chessboard. I have acquired the appointment of moving a square at a time, and I am fresh meat for all. I envy the Rook. I want to be able to move upon four directions like the Rook... Now I am the Rook and I've been appointed four directions to move upon. Right, Left, Back and Forth... I move. I capture! I am quite happy until I see the Bishop. I envy the Bishop. I want to be able to move upon four directions diagonally, like the Bishop... Now I am the Bishop, moving diagonal...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 4
1 Review
0 Comments
Drops of water locked in ice... Savory crystal's brittle cold. Hearts that weather spring-time meltings, bid ado to futures' Untold... More profound, confused members, Longing embers, stick's decay... Wooded hills replete yet senile, Still, I wash the warmth away. Blinded sights of past and present, hiding from the radiant Son... As abandoned houses: Archaic Titles, His tethered frame, and name we shun. Liquid anguish, covered meadows, puddles ignorance at my feet, and advance to chambers bou...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 3
7 Reviews
7 Comments
So, I sitteth, longly, talking to favor myself... 'Tis a common plea, of mine own world 'tis make-believe...and so begins my privy... Thinking only: I dialogue to the Glorious Best & figment a man of reluctant rest... "...And shoulds't thy decision be precise; to build thy palace absent me, then I beseesh--prithee! Let my vow e'er be!" O' vow! "I shall sitteth a good fight 'pon thy palace walls & decree, 'til thy life's heart beats 'bout me! I wilt woo all manner of creation, the stars too sh...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 3
1 Review
1 Comment
My own fault comes to light, each and every day and night; To say what's first on my mind, stubborn regret embraces time... Life spouts dilemma my own way, as I place blame on God's dismay. But as He allows it, resigned I'll be, as Challenge embodies passage for me... Freedom appoints on me a choice, and heeds apt ear to inner-voice... "Make final..." whispers Decision's Host, "...Of right, not wrong, make the most." Now Freedom affords, as contest begins displays of needs in discipline, when...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
8 Comments
No one knows her pain & aching sorrow. No one knows her laughing off tomorrow. No one knows she moves among the dark. No one knows she plays just a dolls part. A light seizes her only to burn out. A candle flickers knowin' every voice she shouts. A gale whispers past her insecurity. A nail punctures her hope & her purity. Chorus- But it's not too late, I know you've lost your faith, If this is fate, I know you will think & debate. It's not too late I know you've lost your faith, If you won't ...
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Reviews
1. First paragraph is present tense then the 2nd is both past-tense/present-tense which is not a good transition for any reader. I'd suggest making 2nd paragraph as much present tense as you can w/out compromising your style. Perhaps instead write: The courier extends one leg to the pavement and takes some water. His chest, punctuates diagonally by the messenger bag strap, up and down, up and down. He debats making one last delivery. Not due until tomorrow, this last trip an agreement between...
I made some "flow" changes but they are merely suggestions of how to reword for better flow. Please do NOT be offended. I think you have an awesome gift to write and just need some fine-tuning. So here is what my editing brought forth. AGAIN AND I MUST STRESS, they are only suggestions for the sake of giving you the correct word-structure to promote better flow and readability. All night I had planned my next encounter with Arlyn. I couldn’t just walk into the hospital and beat her up. A rema...
Taking into account the macabre subject matter, I thought this was profound, moving, and had flow considering it's brevity. It said soooo much in so few words which in itself is an accomplishment. Good job! On the other hand it does not inspire me, it instead provokes dread for the writer who might be thinking of suicide at this very minute. I don't walk away feeling I've read something of substance, but that is only one person's opinion. Please keep on writing!
Suggestion: YOU WROTE: When Margarite was around Penny and she did everything together. I think you mean to write, 'When Margarite was around Penny THEY did everything together.' Fun read and I liked the subject matter. Will this be a children's story? I liked that it was not too flowery and flowed very well. Keep it up!
I like your style of writing! I hope you don't take that narcisist review of deathspeaker's to heart. There is a reason he named himself DEATHspeaker and it seems he has set out to dissuade others from writing. Please don't let him do that to you too cuz you really do have talent! If you read this person's profile you'll come to find some psychological red flags which will make you wonder if he really is capable of giving any words of support or encouragement so please discard that review. I ...
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