dhbyrd's profile
AGE:
55
LOC: Angier, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 05
LOC: Angier, NC
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 05
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 2
4 Reviews
5 Comments
The Writer, The Man, My Lover He found me on a social website and sent a message for me to accept his match. The instant I opened his message and my eyes focused on his photo, I felt the spirit rush through my body. I knew then that he was extremely significant because I had felt it only twice in my lifetime of 55 years. The first being at 12 years old while in church as I answered the preacher's call to come forward, well I didn't answer, the spirit did. I remember that I didn't understand ...
Ratings & Rankings
[ View all items ]
Reviews
I think the message of pain is conveyed very well. I like the use of adjectives. "I live in a deep well"..is that the title of the poem? I'm sorry that I'm new to writing and am unable to give you a whole lot at this time. Keep going I think you'll do well. God Bless :)
I understand that you just jotted this down. I like it, you have a way with words. I would change places with the first two lines so that it reads as below: I write, therefore I am. I did not choose to be a writer. very interesting... Peace and Love :)
I'm new at this...a couple of the words were obliterated but overall I thought it was funny!
Hey, very good! I really like the story. I'm new at this so I'm afraid I won't be of a great help but the things that stuck out for me were: "As Lara walked over to the couch, the rubber heels of her mules made dull thuds against the hardwood floor." I don't know, it just threw me off when I read it. I would change it to read: "The rubber heels of her mules made dull thuds against the hardwood floor as she walked over to the couch.".... "The upper half of her body leaned precariously over the...
Hi, I'm new at this so....I will give you what stuck out for me "You thought that because you've neglected me buying you're way through would fix it," In my humble opinion: it's long, I would break it up and put part on the next line Peace and Love :)
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People