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dgrennay's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Jackson, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 10
LOC: Jackson, MI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 10
People consider me sometimes blunt. In my review of your work, it may sound blunt because I don’t want you to spend hard earned credits to read fluffy words. I hope you don’t take offense to this.
I love to write, but I don’t do it enough. I also love to read, so please entertain me. :)
Genealogy is another passion of mine, you may have guessed….
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Version 1
11 Reviews
12 Comments
Chapter 1 She wonders endlessly in their time apart. He seldom leaves her mind. How can she still feel love for her husband but want to be with this other man? This virtual stranger? He doesn’t feel like a stranger. Her fidgeting and stuttering around him is from trying to repress and control her desire for him, not discomfort with him. He was so different than her husband. He was energetic, full of life. He treated her like a woman, not a caretaker. He treated her as a sexual being, not an o...
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Is it fair to say that any artist would completely relate to this? Yes, whether an artist with paint, pencil, word or music, I think every artist could relate to this. Does anyone else? I don't know. I consider myself an artist and do not know the other world. We are a troubled lot-knowing, seeing, feeling so deeply--sometimes too deeply. And I believe we all go through occasional suicides so that we may be re-born. It's always comforting, as an artist, to know that I am not alone.
Interesting title – not sure that it clicks with the piece, but I may feel it later. Disturbing to think that someone WOULD marry their former therapist, for exactly the reasons stated. I love this section: "you didn’t want to encourage me to write............You began to hate the way I made you feel" Three sentences following are a bit confusing to me, though (hmm). Last two sentences make a very powerful ending.
As a mother, how can I NOT appreciate this writing? You have a great foundation to build on here. I understand this is the first draft, and you probably know well that there are so many other details that you can add to really round it out. This draft is done well enough that I’m sure you’ll succeed in doing that. You did a good job of allowing this mother to come in and make it my own (in my head). I don’t know if non-mothers would feel the same, but I think it has great potential.
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