dansolomon's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 09
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 09
dan solomon is but a simple boy from texas.
Items
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
'I'm here for a computer,' the lady whose name I never will get around to learning says to me when I ask her, by way of introduction, why she's standing in a line outside a Best Buy location at two-thirty in the morning on a weeknight. My toes haven't gone numb yet, but we've only been here for five minutes. There's a couple whose names I won't get either, even though we'll lie and cheat and threaten fights with strangers together in a few hours. They say to her 'us too,' and, with a smile, '...
Version 3
3 Reviews
2 Comments
The field used to be an anti-aircraft battery during the blitz of World War II. When the war ended, it was grassed over for use as an athletics field, complete with a running track on the outside. They lay down eighteen inches of soil and sodded it over, which means that during a rainy period it's prone to flooding – they have to drain it, disturbing the ducks who come over from the man-made lake by the public toilets. During a hot, dry spell, the field becomes hard, like concrete, and the pl...
Version 1
2 Reviews
0 Comments
This is the story of how someone named Donutman changed my life forever, and why I'm not embarrassed of it, even though I was embarrassed of him when I first met him and for the next several months after that, almost the whole time I knew him, even the first few weeks after he changed my life and helped me become the person that I am now. I have never thanked Donutman, but I know that he never wanted or expected thanks, because none of us did. It was one of the things that tied us all togethe...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
It wasn't a hero he sought. Heroes were just men who hadn't been killed yet. He'd had heroes before and he'd read the reports in the pamphlets (back when he felt it worth the risk to maintain an interest in such things) about their deaths. A hero was someone who led only to disappointment. He was no longer interested in seeing men attempt the impossible, fail, suffer, and die. He considered this wisdom. “Papa, is it wisdom to believe that no one will ever create a finer world?” His son, proud...
Version 1
14 Reviews
1 Comment
1. while new orleans struggles still to get its face above water- while chicago holds in the hope that it can avoid another fire- while new york hides its skyscrapers every time an airplane circles overhead- while san francisco apologizes again for suggesting that queers could be in love- while portland buckles under the weight of all those guitars playing hollow notes- while seattle gazes down from a hill built upon computer parts- while houston struggles to see sunlight from behind the high...
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Reviews
This needs a lot of work before an agent should see it. The core of what you're going for is there, but it's all sloppy, and you bury your hooks. I'm going to burn through the good and the bad, and then talk about what needs to happen for this to work, cool? Good- your plot is compelling, and high-concept, which means that this should be an easy pitch to a lot of agents. The core idea, with global warming revealing previously lost weapons to terrorists, is timely and clever. I like that you m...
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
You requested brutality, so you're getting it. It's nothing personal. Cut the first paragraph entirely. The hypothetical question hook here isn't intriguing enough to warrant it, and the rest of the paragraph should be at the end. Start with "Thirty-two year old Maggie Russell" (only "thirty-two" should be hyphenated) instead. The "in Wichita, Kansas" bit at the end of the sentence is a little unclear- I think that she's going to Wichita, but the way the sentence is structured, I can't tell i...
Well, you've certainly proven that you know how to write a memorable sex scene, I'll give you that. While I didn't really -like- this piece, I can't claim that the criticisms I had of the other one apply here. I think my biggest problem with this one is that the point at which it turns from a conspiratorial thing that the two characters are doing into something that the narrator is doing -to- her is too vague. When the narrator goes down on her in the Tilt-A-Whirl (and thank you for giving me...
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