daithi's profile

daithi avatar
AGE: 42
LOC: Brooklyn, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 17

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Items
Short Story / Jam Down Town
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Jim Strong just wanted to sleep.  All he ever wanted to do was to make the pain go away, the pain of a world which looked nothing like the one that he would have made had he had any power to do so at all. Here Jim was in a fucking jam again.  He had no money and a sometime job that was for people younger than he. Drink had helped him pass the time, but over time it had become the focus. That and pure exhaustion was burning him out.  He was in this alone and it was starting to b...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Back In Brooklyn
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Here I am again. I know how it happened. I was there for the whole thing: Crown Heights, The Bronx and right back to the place I started: Greenpoint. It changed. It gentrified. I think I liked it better before. There are more beautiful women now though. I just heard these thugs speaking below my friends window. That's how it used to be all the time. It's safer now I guess. I think I liked it before when it was more dangerous, interesting and cheaper. Pretty women only go so far. . . . I would...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Alive
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I made it and I don't want to talk about it anymore, except to say that I did not die yet again. That is good. It feels great. I may not have made it over all the hurdles, but I'm still in the race. Perhaps that's all one can hope for sometimes: making it through. I want more. . .hurdles that is. . .because they make me stronger. We've got problems and I want to be prepared to fix them.
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Serial Keeps On Comin'
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
So, I think my roommate might fit the profile of a serial killer, which is great news since I can't afford to move right away. I moved into the place about a year and a half ago. I was sharing a place with a friends brother and the lease was up, so I decided to move to a loft share where I would have more space and be able, perhaps to set-up a small editing studio in my space. My dog would have more room and there were two cats that could keep him company. I was really buzy with work so I wan...
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Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Are We Brainwashed Yet?
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
There has been an on-going dialogue at my workplace about current events, mostly regarding the Iraq war, the environment and United States society in general. One earlier in the week began about music and transformed into a social critique, by me (no please, don't thank me yet, but I was the hero of the conversation). My co-worker asked me if I like the Irish pop group "The Cranberries" after I had referred to them as "The CRUD-berries". I said I did not, because I think their lead singer Del...
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Reviews
Short Story / Pretty Soon
I liked the story overall. You said it was based on your friend's dream, but it definitely reads like a series of cohesive vignettes. I could picture it being a graphic novel or some kind or "Sin City" type film; a lot of good imagery throughout. I found it's wordiness somewhat distracting in the beginning and somewhat at odds with what seems to be the main character, but as you say it's from a dream. . . . I am interested in reading more of your stuff. Good work!
Removed
Poetry / Vampire Kiss
Locked
I really liked this one. It enables the reader to really visualize a scene even if it's a projection of her own experience. I like the awkwardness of the interaction and the expression of not being sure about the person in some way. One thing I noticed is that the first paragraph seems a bit disconnected from the rest of the piece. The transition to the rest is kind of jarring. Another thing I noticed is there seemed to be a few "50 cent" words thrown in for spice that didn't quite dissolve i...
Poetry / Gods Of War
The best I can say about the piece is it's a nice sentiment like, "Why can't we all get along?". How I actually feel about the poem is quite different. It's kind of banal. It's a bit like the sayings you see hanging in frames in people's kitchens. They may be witty or clever, but they are never more than that. Rhyming poetry is also a "slippery slope" if you want to be taken seriously. My advice would be, if you are really passionate about the subject, rewrite it with some feeling. It's an im...