cyndiratz's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Moose Lake, MN
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 12
LOC: Moose Lake, MN
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 12
I am a married mother of two who has within the last year moved to northern Minnesota. One would not think that moving to a different area of their home state would be so different but it sure is! I enjoy writing about justice, poetry and topics that makes people think about moral fiber.
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When our society fails we will hide the evidence of our mistakes. Josh sat in the cool green grass with his knees tucked tightly against his chest. The gentle breeze moved his soft blonde curls like feathers blowing in the wind across a farm yard on an autumn day. So many times Josh would start his investigations with a visit to the victim’s grave. It was there that he felt and almost heard the soft pleading for their story to be told and he would listen; quietly and taking note to the ...
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Searching in darkness for a dream.
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Opportunities
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3 Reviews
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Searching in the darkness for a dream.
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I pose for you Lying back in a pool of blood. Waiting waiting but nothing comes. Why do you torture me so? With your blue eyes and empty soul. I hated you, you know don’t you? I hated you so. My youth was stolen like a loaf of bread in an open market Stolen and tossed aside Are you why I feel so cold?
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Our Happy Life I snap a photo to put in a book, one with smiles and eyes like a fish on a hook. I love how you make it appear like we are so happy, content, the American family. They will never know the hell that was our life How every emotion was held captive in every nook. And life was suspended unless you said for it to go. Now I suspend you like a puppet and keep you in my hands, Wheeling the strings and twisting your arms; Playing with your soul like you did with mine.
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Describe the beginning scene for us more. How does Pike know that Julia is aboard? You could fill us in on more of their history within the first 2 pages, even just a snipet as to why she feels so addicted to Pike, what is it? His kiss, his strength, smells etc. The story is good but I am wondering if being the daughter of a president fits? Perhaps, once the story continues I guess. I would like to read more of this to see what happens next. I do like how you ended this chapter with the quest...
The first sentence feels a bit ackward, could you consider tweaking it a bit? Be aware or repeating certain opening words such as 'yet'. It would be good to be more descriptive, what do we see, smell and hear from these boys?
I read your poem several times trying to find the direction that you were taking. In the second set it seems as if it is somewhat romantic yet the opening does not lead me there and maybe that was your intention. This is a unique piece and I like it more everytime that I read it.
I really like this quote. It very broad that leaves the words lying in a personal place. This could be used on many, many levels.
Good set of lyrics. Sure wish I could hear the music along with them. Rarely do we hear songs about girls falling prey to the bad boys although reality dictates that. Your last set of lines ring true as many women who chase those bad boys never learn. It is like a rusted badge of honor of sorts.
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