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curtis_irion's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: Pittsburgh, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 05
LOC: Pittsburgh, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 05
I am simply a person who enjoys writing in my sparetime. I have never posted any writings of mine anywhere, and honestly, I really have not written extensively. That’s all for now…
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Grey owl perched on high, Cocked-head observing dark night, Dive-bombs; snatches food
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Star-filled Autumn night, Silence fills empty, cool air Cock's crow heralds morn
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Light-green cedar branch, Tiny chirping bird looks out; Dazzled, flies away
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Quick, keen-eyed grey squirrel, Autumn's approach felt in air, Hurries to stock food
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Summer oak-tree, Pale yellow leaves slowly change, Branch cracks, falling far
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Reviews
I feel that the beginning of this piece is far too cliche. From what I read in the rest of the story, I know that your skill is better than the beginning of this chapter. It is the typical "fairy-tale" or "Star Wars" opening. I like the decriptive words that you use throughout this piece. They certainly add an extra element to your work, and helps to better illustrate your points. This, to me, is a good prologue to a longer work. Have you thought about it in that manner?
Ok, so the continuing plot goes on. I like this piece as I did the others. I certainly think that it can be better however. There is more good dialogue in this chapter, but as in a few previous chapters, I feel that parts of it were not needed. Sometimes I felt like things needed to head straight to the point slightly more. I like the idea of the Master being able to enter dreams. This is a fairly classic theme in certain tales, but one that works. This fact also sets up the next chapter nice...
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