curtis_irion's profile

I feel that the beginning of this piece is far too cliche. From what I read in the rest of the story, I know that your skill is better than the beginning of this chapter. It is the typical "fairy-tale" or "Star Wars" opening. I like the decriptive words that you use throughout this piece. They certainly add an extra element to your work, and helps to better illustrate your points. This, to me, is a good prologue to a longer work. Have you thought about it in that manner?

Ok, so the continuing plot goes on. I like this piece as I did the others. I certainly think that it can be better however. There is more good dialogue in this chapter, but as in a few previous chapters, I feel that parts of it were not needed. Sometimes I felt like things needed to head straight to the point slightly more. I like the idea of the Master being able to enter dreams. This is a fairly classic theme in certain tales, but one that works. This fact also sets up the next chapter nice...