curtis_irion's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Pittsburgh, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 31
LOC: Pittsburgh, PA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 31
I am simply a person who enjoys writing in my sparetime. I have never posted any writings of mine anywhere, and honestly, I really have not written extensively. That’s all for now…
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Cold geese take flight south, Winter's breath drives them onwards, Thier call beckons frost
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Autumn colors gone, Long bleak dreary November, Grey month of cold wind
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October fading, Waxing Autumn chill grows strong, Life pulls blanket close
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October's warm peak, Sun-laid days last vestiges, First real chill is felt
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Changing leaves near end, Fading bright glory whispers, One morn they are gone
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Reviews
Your description of this haiku and the haiku itself are both excellent. ZThe haiku itself is harsh, sever, and very much takes the reader to the point of attack or action. On other words, I felt like I was there, the waulity of any good haiku. I also thank you for making it this way, as nature is an ambivalent thing, wild and calm. Excellent work, I would like to see more.
I really like the rhyme scheme in this poem. I don't really care for the line about the beaver and cocoon, it could be better-written. I like the feel of the term "Architector," but it looks ugly spelled like that. I would also rewrite the very last line. I feel like this had a nice rhythm going on and then the part about the orange leaf fell apart. Overall a nice poem with good vivid imagery.
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