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AGE:
17
LOC: Belvidere, TN
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 29
LOC: Belvidere, TN
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 29
my name is Marsha and i have been writing since i was nine not all the time, but recently i have started writing all the time…and have decided to work in it better in hopes to better be able to communicate the way i feel to other people….i have a sligth problem with thinking something and it completely not coming out of my mouth…so wish me luck and i would like for anyone who want to help me to please critique my work…
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The simplicity which always follows The beginning Or was it the end? I guess we see how it goes and how well life flows through the rivers that bring life to all and when do we know to wait for the end? Or do we just live Each moment as the long-lived ending to the lost peace and serenity or let life run its course and fall say by day as we die in mass destruction and heartfelt pleas of heartless men who let you fall from grace and endlessly into space
Version 1
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The simplicity which always follows The beginning Or was it the end? I guess we see how it goes and how well life flows through the rivers that bring life to all and when do we know to wait for the end? Or do we just live Each moment as the long-lived ending to the lost peace and serenity or let life run its course and fall
Version 1
1 Review
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Part of me wants to know why you never loved me only part but never whole now do you feel free? Are you still my friend after all this time even in this sacred sin i still wish that you were mine! Maybe i am wrong to think that you could see after all this time is long and would never think of me? Please know that i tried my best to know what makes you happy but now i can only rest and wish that you ever knew me!
Version 1
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As the leaves fall and autumn comes life blooms time is our predictor things happen people change the world around us never stops the whirlwind goes on no matter how many things go wrong there is one constant a single strand of things that go on no matter what The leaves fall life blooms and all must change
Version 1
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good morning, darling, thats what she should say all she knows is all thats before her then all of this comes tumbling Down so all she says "is this a dream?" and he wakes up to see me filled with hate all black not white this is all he see's two ways to see it in or out all i know is how to shout from these rooftops this dream i wake up from is really too long not a dream not pleasant A NIGHTMARE!!!
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i think that you need to proof read a bit and make the characters a little bit easier to relate to but otherwise it is a good story with a good concept and you should continue to work on it.
it reminds me off the far off days of love and remmebrance it definately has potential and just simply needs to be shaped up around the edges
i love the symbolism used that allows anyone who is educated and reading this to understand the emotion in this poem it is magnificent.
this is a universal feeling that everyone can relate to and i am in-love with your writing style that is jagged yet flawless
i think its very good but a bit wordy it tells the story and it shows all your emotion but it adds things that while they are important they only make it longer if that makes any sense and i have no room to judge you because i know youve read my work and its far from perfect but i didnt feel your work because i was so overclouded by the extra words that you used
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