crayonmustache's profile

Hi! I enjoyed reading your work. I have some suggestions, please take what you want and leave the rest. I found the current in the word stream flow to- engage in a good pace allowing for easy reading. It kept my interest and was well written, you show your skill, I look forward to seeing your future endeavors. The topic is one of those age old questions of man, a thought is to meditate on possible plot pondering and come up with something more original. I think an original plot will be more r...

Hi! I enjoyed your poem. I read it a couple of times and you have a gift of conjuring up strong imagery. I would consider it a poem to forever ponder as I draw different meaning from it each time I read it. At first I took it as possibly thoughts from God, but I now think it is more about man and our fragile nature. It is a bit obscure, a few lines unclear. "An amalgam of angles and arches" may raise red flags. (I do not know what amalgam means and doubt general public does as well, but its g...

Hi! I really enjoyed this work. As far as matters of the heart go, the webs spun from strings strung deep in the soul, the pull between friendships and lovers, gravity and space, something that once tasted, things never will be the same again. Your poem made me remember my own drama in love when younger, when I was driven by my passions. It is a great, well felt, poem. The only snag I saw was the line, "But stories all tend to end and it wasnt long before you pulled my friend" I believe I kno...

Hi! I enjoyed reading this work. I feel you are right on the edge of your craft and if you cross over and jump in competely embracing your creative dormant gift, an awakening, you could be a great word smith. I have suggestions, please take what works and leave the rest. The first thing I noticed, your opening, was the over usage of 'him', 'his', and 'he'. This leads to major, but easily corrected once noticed, road blocks that are scattered throughout your work. You are doing a great job 'te...