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craftykathy's profile
AGE:
48
LOC: Redding, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 31
LOC: Redding, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 31
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Version 2
1 Review
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Wafts of smoke disguise the dysfunction.
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Version 1
8 Reviews
2 Comments
Wafts of smoke disguise the disfunction.
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Version 1
20 Reviews
10 Comments
Funny that I ended up back here. This used to be my best hiding place, a place to lay low until he calmed down, calmed down enough to just beat me but not kill me. Now it's my hiding place for a different reason, not because I'll get away with it, but just for a moments peace, a moment of trees and fresh air before the clanging of metal becomes my life. When they find me here, they'll talk about dragging me from the brush behind the long-closed steakhouse, how I gave no assistance but also no...
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I think blogs can be judged on the ability of the writer to give a clear visual to the reader. You've achieved that time and again in this piece. The blue shirt? EEWWW! The curious neighbors? Hilarious. Zeke? Adorable. I pictured his transformation and I, too, say GO ZEKE! One pro of blogging is that it has you writing fairly often. Another is that, at least in your case, you find out that you are an interesting articulate person. Thanks for all the smiles.
Checking your tense could go a long way to cleaning up this interesting piece- "You're so perfect" might become "You were so perfect" etc. to keep in line with the statement that you're no longer there.
I'm glad to see someone in the position of sharing what it is like down there can do it so well. The visual of the bridge becomes more and more clear without having to "fix" any mental pictures. Very consistent. The line "I don't doubt this." is a little distracting and might be better incorporated- "I don't doubt pterodactyls laid eggs on it." There are a few extra words to tidy (I was saw a man attempt, for example) and a few spellings (there courage should be their) but all are minor. The...
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