clb_clark's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Tipton, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 15
LOC: Tipton, IN
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 15
I am seventeen and live in a small town in Indiana. I am hoping to get published in anything, even an out of the way magazine, before I start college. I like to experiment with different styles and genres to see what I’m good at. I try to twist an interesting plot with action and some kind of morale or philosophical meaning. Peace.
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Dr. Steitman's Log August 14th, 7:38 PM Here I am, just twenty minutes before I leave work for the weekend, and I finally found what I've been looking for for thirty years. We've all heard of Jesus, the proclaimed son of God from the bible, a true god among men. But I wonder, what made Jesus so unique? What made him so different from us? According to the bible, he is God in physical form, and perfect in all ways. But what made him so perfect? Perhaps it is the fact that he was born of the vi...
Version 1
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The chords cut through the air like a knife. The vibrations shook up Samuel's arm like an earthquake. The violent forte quivered the air, and yet, sounded so sweet and gentle to Samuel's ear. He pressed another key, and another explosion erupted as soundwaves collided with air particles to create yet another sweet sound. Then, another burst of sound, only this was not sweet and gentle. This explosion was harsh, a violent twist of several sounds pushed into a single blade that stabbed at Samue...
Version 1
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Dr. Steitman's Log August 14th, 7:38 PM Here I am, just twenty minutes before I leave work for the weekend, and I finally found what I've been looking for for thirty years. We've all heard of Jesus, the proclaimed son of God from the bible, a true god among men. But I wonder, what made Jesus so unique? What made him so different from us? According to the bible, he is God in physical form, and perfect in all ways. But what made him so perfect? Perhaps it is the fact that he was born of the vi...
Version 3
3 Reviews
1 Comment
Mr. Watch and the League of Talented Aristocrats Prologue James Watch woke up on the side of the road. A sign towered before him. It read: Los Angeles- 45 miles. Chapter One It was late when Mr. Bad stepped out of the building and into the freezing night air. Snow flakes drifted gently downward. The stars were bright tonight, despite the light pollution of New York City. That, of course, was due to his partner. Mr. Bad walked over to the black Cadillac. A man leaned against th...
Version 2
1 Review
3 Comments
Mr. Watch and the League of Talented Aristocrats Prologue James Watch woke up on the side of the road. A sign towered before him. It read: Los Angeles- 45 miles. Chapter One It was late when Mr. Bad stepped out of the building and into the freezing night air. Snow flakes drifted gently downward. The stars were bright tonight, despite the light pollution of New York City. That, of course, was due to his partner. Mr. Bad walked over to the black Cadillac. A man leaned against th...
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This was interesting. You said you weren't interested in grammer, so I won't go there. The mood seems despairing and a bit panicky, which is what I think you were going for. If you ever do decide to extend or edit it, I can only suggest to maybe mention what the man did, or just somehow include him in the story more. I understand it's flash fiction, but I still felt a little too detached from the character. Over all though, I like it. Keep it up.
"turned up the volume on my iPod," and "I heard my cell-phone beep" kind of contradict the flow. Maybe you should say something like "I felt my phone vibrate." Just a suggestion. In the second paragraph you switched from past tense (with the had beens and such) to the present tense. The "hads" make it sound like she did know Gavin, but not anymore, like he had died or something. This should be changed to has or have based on the use. Those were the only problems I found. Other than that I kin...
I thought this was very good. I didn't find any spelling or grammer errors, so I don't have much to say on that. The only suggestion I have is to keep going. Develop this story a little more, maybe give us some more details on Adri, or whatever you think would be good. I'd like to read more.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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