christa_anne's profile

Points: “A few framed employee of the month certificates hung from her soft pink walls.” – ‘employee’ should be ‘employees.’ “Maybe he looks up to you. And if it‘s an sexual attraction, I don’t get, your not that hot.” – ‘a’ not ‘an’. “That’s cruel, they’re people just like you and me. They just have a hard time controlling themselves. Have you at least tried talking to them? I’ve done it a few times and in some cases, it works. You can’t fight violence with violence.” – A semicolon should be...

Points: “Anyhow… I have a…” - This is a fragment. Replace the ‘…’ with a simple comma and it fixes the problem without ruining the dialogue. “More than that, its based on a real life story. And this one, the people are going to love!” - It should be ‘it’s’ not ‘its’. “A McChicken sandwich.” – This is another fragment, consider revision. Try using a semicolon. Also, maybe consider an exclamation point at the end in order to better deliver the excitement in the statement. They’re killing her hu...