chelly's profile
AGE:
38
LOC: Waynesboro, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 24
LOC: Waynesboro, VA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 24
Fell in love with writing when I was 10 but i let life get in the way of perfecting the craft. After all these years I am finally trying to take my writing seriously as the story possibilites keep me from sleeping.
I love reading so I love being a part of this site to read others work and have mine read and reviewed as well.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
I was 17 when I left home and married, promising never to return. The problem with that is never is not forever and promises can be broken, even to ones self. I was happy living my life not knowing much about my family. The only person I kept in touch with was my brother and he was not permitted to talk about our parents unless he wanted to be hung up on. He respected my position on that and never talked about them. Well, not until the accident. See, never is not forever. Apparently the years...
Version 1
7 Reviews
7 Comments
Neither breath nor time shall I waste To justify and fall from grace As he stands like a pompous ass Glaring from his house of glass Down upon all those who He deems as silly little fools Who could not competently compare With his flamboyant, inflated fare. “Poetaster” he claimed I to be, In a letter written secretly To hide from all public view, His repulsively vain persona true. His sheer ignominy Will come back to him in folds of three And like a thief in the night or, more li...
Version 1
8 Reviews
4 Comments
Empty I’ve been standing still since the day you stole my heart and ran away. I wish I could have seen the places you and my heart have been. Instead of the monotony from which I can not break free since you left this dark hole unsettled in me.
Version 3
12 Reviews
12 Comments
In a small house just outside of Halcyon, a small village in a country that was barely known, lived a beautiful girl named Harmony Divine. She had hair like midnight, deep black with shades of blue and shiny like the stars. Her long lashed eyes were milk chocolate and her cherry lips were barely without a smile. Her skin had the liking of perfectly browned bread which made the villagers joke that her existence came about in her parents bread shop. Every morning, just before the sun smiled up...
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Reviews
This is more of a saying or statement than a poem, especially the way it is displayed. Maybe if you made it into 3 lines first one ending at -true; second at -me, then "I'm not true to you" being the last. It's a good line and could probably be a good poem if expanded on.
As a poem of love this one is short but also sweet. Well, who says that love poems have to be sonnets? I like what you are saying here but the last part seems to end to abruptly. It doesn't exactly flow with the rest. Maybe if you could expand on the last bit? Also "And you'ld know " a typo I guess? Anyway, nice poem!
This has started as an interesting story and yes it is a little dark. My problem is I want to know more about this girl, how old is she, what did she look like? What did her surroundings look like? Why was she in a condemned building, was she kidnapped, had something happened? What does the little boy outside her window have to do with her predicament? More description would make this a little better to see and could make it darker. If she is a cute little girl or disfigured can really change...
On the first page I understood that the difference in fonts were to distinguish between the character on radio and Lawrence and the rest of the story. On the second page and remainder of the story you forgot to change the font which was a little confusing so during the 3rd page I had to go back and reread to figure out what was going on. On the first page Lawrence tells the radioed voice “I was only a Sergeant, you know.†shouldn't he say "I am" since he is speaking of the present. Throug...
In your notes for reviewers you say that everything you write ends its life in a trash can. Well I think this should not be one of them. I like the way your poem describes how things, life and love if left unattended and neglected for long enough they just erode and become nothing. I feel that this poem is about fleeting love that ended in ? (unplanned pregnancy? "where I forgot to say the words and in forgetting opened the rift yawning wider with every year at the boredom of the unplanned li...
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