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cgarza's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Little Elm, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 13
LOC: Little Elm, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 13
I heard about this site on myspace and thought I’d check it out. I first got into writing in elementry school. I have posted a book that I hope to finish and get publiished before I get out of high school. Please send me your thoughts and ideas. Thank you.
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Chapter One: June 5, 2008 12:00 P.M “Hey Miranda, can I talk to you?” I said in a shaky tone as I was getting out of school on the last day. “Hey,” Miranda said in her soft voice smiling at me. “Do you think we could go out tonight? There’s something I need to tell you,” I said still shaking. “Yeah sure,” she said with a smile that stopped my heart. “Cool, I’ll pick you up at eight. Where do you want to go?” I said in a cold sweat, with a nervous smile, and a strange cold sensation in my ches...
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Prologue: June 5, 2008 1:28 A.M Deep in a fiery pit of hell two human-like shapes come together to talk. “Are we almost ready, Lilith?” The man-shaped figure said. “Yes, Samuel, we’ve waited for a millennia, biting our time. He’s too distracted right now. It’s prefect timing. The solar eclipse is almost upon us,” a women-shaped figure said. “We will finally be free to rule that world without any interruptions,” Samuel said in an excited tone. “First we have to make sure to exterminate the res...
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June 5, 2008 1:28 A.M Deep in a fiery pit of hell two human-like shapes come together to talk. “Are we almost ready, Erin?” The man-shaped figure said. “Yes, Jason, we’ve waited for 116 years biting our time. He’s too distracted right now. It’s prefect timing. The solar eclipse is almost upon us,” a women-shaped figure said. “We will finally be free to rule that world without any interruptions,” Jason said in an excited tone. “First we have to make sure that he wasn’t reincarnated,” Erin said...
Version 1
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It had been about half a day since they had left Chihuahua, towards Mexico City, towards what they once called home, and their dark past. They sat in silence as the cool night air rushed past their solemn faces. “Carlos, there’s one thing that I didn’t tell you before in front of Hector and Yesinia.” “What?” “Well before I got into that car chase I was able to figure out who those guys were working for.” “And who is it?” “Well remember Gabriel Rodriguez, that kid we used to play with back in ...
Version 1
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Prelude 9 Years Ago... It was a beautiful, breezy summer night as the full moon casted it’s gentle gaze on the silent streets of Mexico City. Meanwhile a family of five stared into the moon’s pale face with their deep, dark brown eyes focused as if they were in a trance and their raven black hair flowing with the breeze, while the baby’s soft cries were carried into the night. They stared into the moon’s face for hours before going inside and drifting into a deep, peaceful sleep. Meanwhile ju...
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Reviews
This is good but could use a little work. It is a little slow but will probably pick up in the second chapter. But like I said its good I like all of the visual representations.
This is very good. I really enjoyed it. The characters work, the plot was well thought out,and the plot twist at the end was well placed. Maybe you could mention the legend of the whole Shadow Realm, Shadow Walker, and Dream Walker. I would like to see a little more charater history on King Ian. But other then that this is good and I think it has a good chance of being published.
This is good. I would like to see a little more character backgroud but that's just me. As far as the title goes it doesn't really fit. I can't think oof another but ask some other people I bet they can come up with a more suitable title. And I can't wait to read the rest.
I really like this. A lot of plot twists and good visual imagery. I like the way it's in first person. One thing is that you should stay consistent with your point of view. It was first person up until the end where you changed from I to he. Maybe you did that on purpose I don't know. Other then that I don't see anyother mistakes.
I like this it sounds like put really put what were thinking, not many people can do that. Only one thing you focused on the bad things in high school there are good things about high school too.
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