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cfbraun's profile
AGE:
51
LOC: San Diego, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 23
LOC: San Diego, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 23
Been writing short stories as long as I can remember. Wrote my first non fiction self help book in 1992 entitled Success Is Your Birthright. Wrote an updated version in 2005. I am in San Diego and heavily influenced by the military (I have two boys who have served on Baghdad and Afghanistan). I am also involved in the citizen effort to secure our borders. Through these experiences I wrote my first fiction book “Two Seconds” and the sequel “Border War”. “Enemy of the People” is in the works. In 2007 I wrote the story of the Minuteman Movement in CA in a book entitled “Above All Else”. www.minutemandiary.com
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Mosul, Iraq 04:30 Local time May 18, 2005 In the annals of war, few atrocities are deemed so inconceivable that neither the victor nor the vanquished would at one time or another, ponder the thought. War is a nasty business and men have for millennia discovered new and innovative ways to inflict pain and torture on their enemies. In the modern day it had become much more civilized to simply vaporize ones foe before they knew what hit them, then to go through all of the trouble of inventing cl...
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Version 2
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Mosul, Iraq 04:30 Local time May 18, 2005 In the annals of war, few atrocities are deemed so inconceivable that neither the victor nor the vanquished would at one time or another, ponder the thought. War is a nasty business and men have for millennia discovered new and innovative ways to inflict pain and torture on their enemies. In the modern day it had become much more civilized to simply vaporize ones foe before they knew what hit them, then to go through all of the trouble of inventing cl...
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PROLOGUE US Mexican Border September 10th 1917 11:50 pm Lt. John Turner, the sixth generation of Turner men to bear that name, peered across the windswept desert as the monsoonal flow from the southwest brought droplets of cool rain to their outpost. It didn’t last long nor did the rain amount to much, but after three months in this hellhole it was a welcome diversion. He brushed the dust from his army uniform and prepared his report to his commanding officer, Captain George Patton, located s...
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Doug Hammer and company are back as a team of government assassins hell-bent on eradicating the world of Islamic terrorists… until the United States as they know it, ceases to exist. “Enemy of the People” Coming in the Summer of 2008 Chapter 1. December 15, 2008 The bright green moss cushioned his left arm as he rested it on the boulder overlooking the tree-lined valley. A bead of sweat formed on his brow and trickled ever so slowly towards the hard edge of his tanned athletic jaw. In one, sw...
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Version 1
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Ripped Right From Today’s Headlines! US Navy SEAL LT. Doug Hammer and his crew are back in this action-packed thriller about murder, mayhem and drugs on the US/Mexican Border. Two Navy Seals, home from Afghanistan, go to Tijuana for a little R&R. They wind up the unwelcome guests of Mexican Drug Kingpin Oscar Mendoza who tries to sell the Special Forces troopers to Islamic Terrorists. The US Government, fearing an International Incident refuses to rescue them. Enlisting the help of a rag tag ...
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Wow. Great story. I loved it. You did a fine job on the dialogue. By doing character development on each of the players in depth, this short story could easily be a book. I might suggest spending a little more time describing the vision at the beginning. It felt disconnected to the story. I loved the way the prophesy foretold he would be killed by a woman. We suspected it might be Devora and it was not. Nice turn of the story. I did notice one thing. Like in : Barak turned and walked away, l...
Spooky. Very well written. Nice descriptors of the room, color etc. I got a good feel for the setting. I was a little confused between page three and four. "The boy rushed in..." I felt like you were rehashing over how you got to this point so far in the story but I think it was a day or more later after the initial incident. If you intended it to be so you may want to put "Two days later the boy rushed in after school..." This sets the stage a little better I think. Pure psychotic nightmare ...
I think you have a good writing ability. Just need to develop the characters a bit more. Hard to do that in a few hundred words I agree. The ending really caught me by surprise. Don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Just needs more meat on the bones. You have the talent. Good luck.
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