carljp's profile

carljp avatar
AGE: 19
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 27

Okay, so i’m back!
Its me again, and i’m back with some new poems, i’ll be deleting some of the old ones and putting up most of my new ones.
At least the ones I feel sound alright, be  a judge, and leave a review, be it praise or not, I listen to everything.

Most of this poetry has come from my first year at Uni, so hopefully my poetry has evolved from before.

Thankyou,
Carl.

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Items
Poetry / Feels like Fate
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
God was dying for us to meet on the very same day that we blew a whole in the atmosphere, the universe rushed in to greet us on this grand catastrophe. We never knew that the stars would gather round and watch so brightly as God smiled down on us and praised the cosmos that we were finally together... in fates arms.
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Sun shines, through the gap in the curtains, twinkles in your eye, wakes me up, the brightness hits me whilst my heads still down. We lay down lazily curled up under the duvet, hiding away from the might of the world. You be my safety blanket, and I’ll be yours, comfort. We don’t need anything else, when all we have is here, we don’t need to leave, this pillowed kingdom keeps me down as my eyes gaze into yours. Night draws in, closing time and we’ve barely moved all day, but I wouldn’t change...
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Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
The darkness was overcoming, the sense of fear lost to the lack of color. Storms were beginning to drown us, the storm in me was beginning to show. And as ghosts haunt the graveyards, we're all just running away. I do not like death Although everytime in turn feels like i'm being killed. I am like a serial killer, trapped within my hideous body. Moonlight begins to cast its shine, but where am I? I am isolated from myself. Lurking in the shadows I am but half the man I was. And as twisted tal...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Crawling into the darkness, the dark of the den, in the overflowing urban sprawl, (decaying in the months gone past) the dim light opens up the gloom. The cracks in the ceiling, display the sky, the moonlight glows but doesn’t get very far. In this den, the money lacks- a chance to make things better. Of all the gin joints in the world, I will not find a soul here. The depressing gloom crashes down on the heads of every sorrow-drinking man. Not even Jack Daniels can keep them alive, the weigh...
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Poetry / Pillowheads
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
I take my time, to pick myself up there’s no reason to think that you’re waiting for me. As my head leaves the pillow, rest assured- its not leaving your eyes. With my back to you, you know that i’m thinking all the things i always want to think whenever i am not looking directly at you. Stepping across the room, into daylight, I feel your bright eyes sun shine. The curtains drawn, in our room of slumber we hide away from people who poke and pry, into our private lives, when this heaven is ou...
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Reviews
this is actually a very very good poem! i really enjoyed reading, and i can totally relate to it cos i'm head over heels in love with my girlfriend. i like the fact that this poem is in rhyming couplets, it keeps it sweet and simple, making it a very relaxing poem to read, also it helps with the flow aswell. i did notice one little bit though, that i would personally change, I would take out the "an" in line 2, it'll give more sense to the line and keeps the flow steady. other than that, this...
Poetry / Poem for my Sons
This is a very emotional poem, the inspiration for this must be great! although i am not a father myself, i can still understand what you mean, and to write it so clearly and concise into a poem is truly brilliant. you speak a thousand fathers minds, this should be published i reckon. there appears to be one typo though: "As they grows to manhood" should be: "as they grow into manhood" anyway, i really like this poem, keep writing like this, its really good!
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Superman Has Lost His Head
To be perfectly honest with you, this doesnt need changing at all, it doesnt need to be made more engaging or interesting! I was totally intrigued from the start, its quite humourous too which i find brilliant! Its as if some comedian could of come up with it, the title definitely intrigued me from the start! You contemplate the many questions that come with the term "superhero" and put them light-heartedly into this truly clever piece! Thankyou for a very enjoyable read!
Firstly, i would just like to say, that i have only rated this poem so, because i know that its difficult to get writings published. Secondly, this is a really good poem! The imagery, the flow, the short and delicate nature of the poem all make it a throughly good read! My favourite line is line 6, the imagery there sounds believeable, as in the way you write it make it sound as if the scarf could snap in the wind which is a very interesting image! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem, so n...
Poetry / Heroes
I dont know why, at least I dont think I know, but I really like this poem. I must admit I was intrigued from seeing the title, and so I figured i'd take a gander. It struck a chord with me I must say, I'm a big geek when it comes to superheroes! The imagery in this poem though, is really good, and the layout is definitely though provoking, did you genuinely mean for some of the words to rhyme? This poem flows really well to be honest, my favourite bit has to be: you look super man. It just s...
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