Interesting - it's not a very far break from poetry. More like poetry arranged into paragraphs, like how I love thee, let me count the ways. Cute ending!

this paragraph beginning, 'Things press on, Carliquo never ceases to grin..' bothers me. Somehow it doesn't seem fair that we miss 2 hours. Why not just - At the end we hear swords clanking - or something. I point that out because it is the Only thing that disturbs. well done.

Fascinating, even if the opening paragraph is a bit clunky. 'J.O. waits ... and has to wait... Angry, Jim..(why not 'he')... He decides to multitask so..' Does anyone actually think to himself - I think I'll multi-task now? Just telling us what he does is enough. And then what kind of specialist? Why not a doctor, psychiatrist? I love the ending. This is otherwise a great story.

plastic craft 1-5 (I started reading it but had to stop, and now it's not on the list. Here are some corrections for it anyway) Neglecting to respond : not responding - sounds better. No rest led to her abandoning : here neglecting sounds better- over all attitude : overall only prepared breakfast : had only prepared her hidden emotions that she battled alone; had to read this twice. by the emotions she battled with (it's pretty clear she is doing it alone) over my fade cut hair : what does f...

Good flow needs good grammar! Sentence 1 - Why not - K turned back hesitantly and studied the results of his labor. ('of his labors hesitantly' makes the reader stumble) 'Inside his workshop is where Kian felt the most at home. Like his workshop..' Inside is where - clumsy. Why not K felt most at home in his workshop which was built... racks of drying, hanging herbs accented - 'accented' sounds like you're writing for Better Homes and Gardens. Why not 'cluttered' the room since you then say p...

authoritative gait of the walk - is redundant, his gait means how he walks Is the 2nd paragraph necessary at all? rain rain go away person of severe interest - great interest might be better. Just a question, not meant to anger - 1st chapter begins a sci-fi. This one begins a murder mystery. So, how much of all this police detail do you really need to advance the previous story?

yes, a satisfying ramble. 'Angus bull still standing' - why the 'still'? Is it after he shat, before he is slaughtered, or just before he lies down? It's important to know, or take it out. "is underrated' - the wrong word here. is exciting - tells us something; underrated - tells us you assume something about your reader that may not be true. 'just enough to conjure' - a little too magician for my taste, when you mean produce, I love some images - 'knocked around by the aroma' And I would be ...

There area some grammar errors that, in such a short piece, really should be dealt with. - 'pulled something' ??; like a chain? another 2 words and you have a specific image. - Is the TV on a timer?

Terrific! My only desire (it's not even a complaint) is: I want something ( a word or two) to let us know who he is. With her at least we know she wears scarves. That's something. She let him in; he's nice. But why? Blue eyes? Sexy smile? something...