browniie111's profile

"Those acres of Georgia land farmed by papas bare hands. " do you mean Papa's? "Mostly I want that southern, self reliant, fuck it attitude. Raised in California, I’m lost if there’s no Starbucks on every corner." I thought it added a lot to the poem how you didnt use any verbs until the last two lines. i think this really says somehting about people form the city. it makes me laugh but its true.

"THE BATHROOM IS MUCH MORE NEAT THAN THE BEDROOM." it is okay as it is but i think that saying the bathroom is much neater than the bedroom would just flow better "I NOTICE THERE IS DRIED BLOOD CRUSTED UP IN THE CORNER OF MY FRESHLY PAINTED PINK LIPS. I AM VERY PLEASED WITH THIS REFLECTION I SEE STARING BACK AT ME." the way you have it worded, it seems like she is pleased with the blood on her face. switch the two sentences around and add a "but," before the second one. this would make it flo...