brohne's profile

brohne avatar
AGE: 31
LOC: Nixa, MO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 09

I read. I write. I draw.

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Novel Treatments / Burn Out
Version 1
3 Reviews   2 Comments
I dragged my eyes open. The side of my face was still smarting from where I’d whacked into the wall as I’d tried to roll over. The first pale rays of sun light were struggling to penetrate the frosted glass of the window overhead. A tan arm smacked me across the bridge of my nose before thumping the wall. I lay there blinking tears out of my eyes for a moment. “Jeeze, Tabby.” Shoving the limb off my head I struggled to sit up. No wonder I had been trying to climb the wall in my sleep. Tabby s...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Sorrow's Despair Chapter 2
Version 1
9 Reviews   8 Comments
Chapter 3 Enveloped “Don’t believe for a moment that you can escape your fate. You have disobeyed for the last time, Warmonger.” “I am not yours to command, brigadier general. My attachment to this war was broken the instant you killed my Master.” “I might have killed her, but I still carry the talisman. You have to obey me.” “Why did you murder her?” “She was going insane! You saw what that creature was doing-“ “That was no excuse! I could have saved her.” “That is not your capacity Kia, you...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Sorrow's Despair Chapter Two
Version 1
7 Reviews   19 Comments
Methods of Control Huddled in one of Crass’ massive armchairs, knees against my chest, I tried to block the torrent of emotions coming from behind the locked office door. The Galactic Regulatory agents had arrived with in an hour after Gyrin had left. Shoving me in the chair Crass had ordered me not to move. A particularly nasty wave of hostility made me flinch. What is going on in there? They couldn’t possibly be arguing like that about me. The door slid open and I kept my eyes averted, no s...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Sorrow's Despair Chapter One
Version 2
7 Reviews   10 Comments
Chapter 1 Twists and Turns Blood dripped on the conduit at my feet. Ignoring it and the burning sensation in my hands I struggled to tighten the clamp on the errant fuel line. Wedged into the tiny crawlspace in the ship’s maintenance hatch, I could barely move. But I was smaller than the droid we normally used for this work, so I got to fix it. The desire to use my technopathic abilities to help me was roughly shoved into the back of my mind. I couldn’t, the medication wouldn’t let me. It was...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Sorrow's Despair Chapter One
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Twists and Turns Blood dripped on the conduit at my feet. Ignoring it and the burning sensation in my hands I struggled to tighten the clamp on the errant fuel line. Wedged into the tiny crawlspace in the ship’s maintenance hatch, I could barely move. But I was smaller than the droid we normally used for this work, so I got to fix it. The desire to use my technopathic abilities to help me was roughly shoved into the back of my mind. I couldn’t, the medication wouldn’t let me. It was a conditi...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / A.I. Offspring: "Book Cover"
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Siren Ink ~ Prologue
This was very interesting and had me impatient for the site to let me go on to the next page. This character is nothing like the character from Twilight so don't bother about that. There were a couple of things I noticed. "Anyhow, I know I . . . the rest of this sentence is a bit cumbersome to read. You might try reading the passage aloud to see how it flow. This is what I do when I'm having difficulty with phrasing. "I arched my brow, eyes flickering gold" She cannot see them doing this, doe...
Novel Treatments / Conversations in a Seashell
This was very interesting and I like the thought of being able to go 'inside' a book to meet the characters. It seems well written characters do tend to linger in our imaginations long after we have finished reading about them. I was a little thrown by the sudden change since nothing had prepared me for her entry into the fictional from the 'real' one. Her suddenly being in beach clothes, which no explanation as to why or how almost took me out of the story. I am glad a stuck with it though a...
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Novel Treatments / Future Crime Chpt 3
Another great chapter. I really like Mac. His observations are very amusing. Just a few things I noted. The conversation between the three of them is a little awkward, which is understandable given the situation, but I found my self going back to see who it was that was talking. Tommy and Jimmy almost seem like the same person, there is little to distinguish one from the other. "Mac looked at Jimmy, perplexed." This is shown by his words and isn't really necessary to show who is speaking. Lit...
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