brittbenny08's profile

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AGE: 20
LOC: Oceanside, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 24

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Novel Treatments / The One Who Holds the Gun
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
For the first time since high school graduation, Wade stood in front of the mirror, trying to wrestle the cloth in his hands into something that resembled a tie. He couldn’t tell if it was because it’d been five years since he last wore one or if it was because of the funeral, but his fingers were like Ramen noodles. “Goddamnit.” He ripped the thing off his neck. “Dad!” “Yeah? In here.” He followed his father’s voice through the trailer in...
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Novel Treatments / Sinners
Version 1
58 Reviews   0 Comments
Their oldest son. Pastor Lawson’s head hung dejectedly in his large, dark hands. His coffee grew cold in its mug. Mrs. Lawson groped along the wall for the arm of the chair and finally sat down. She felt as if she had just been hit by a concrete truck. “But I’m telling you though, it ain’t mine,” Luke said casually. The pastor finally lifted his weary eyes. “I don’t see how you could so stupid and irresponsible,” he said quietly. Surprised at the sudden personal attack, Lukeâ...
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Reviews
Novel Treatments / Camp Hell_prologue
This sounds like a good premise, although that's hard to determine considering the brevity of the piece. The beginning is a little scattered and unfocused. Perhaps if you begin by focusing on Sarah, then cut to the children causing mayhem, the beginning would be more arresting. Or you could even begin with the water being polluted/tainted. Either way, this is an interesting premise that needs a bit more development.
Locked
Wow. A very long but a very excellent piece. I would love to see this performed. It was humurous, creative, witty, and very, very thought-provoking. My favorite parts were the commentary. My favorite lines were, "“You know, I never trusted those grapes much, they hang out in bunches you know, hanging out...limes" Wow. Very witty and original. You are a very imaginative and intellegent writer. Keep up the good work.
Quotes / Langston Hughes
I like this quote. I liked your conclusion of 'otherwise you are dead.' I interpret it of saying that if you don't express yourself in your own way, you are not truly alive. Keep up the good work.
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