brilliantredlights's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Valencia, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 06
LOC: Valencia, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 06
I’m Anna. Let’s see… I’m Brazilian-European, very laid-back, down to earth person. I guess I’m liberal, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not political so you usually can’t tell. I like to do pretty much anything, well, fun. You name it, I’ll (most likely) try it. My philosophy: I’ll try (almost) anything twice. :] I L-O-V-E photography, writing (obviously), and reading. I like drawing, painting, singing (even though I suck), dancing (likewise). I’m not much of a party girl and I’m fine with that. I, unlike many others, don’t need booze and drugs to love life and have fun.(I’m crazy enough as it is…) I love laughing and smiling, and making people laugh and smile. :]
Peace & Love, Anna
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Version 2
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Trying to find her zen, All around her - chaos, hell. It's getting worse by the day. Will she run? Or will she stay? Her mother shouts orders. Her father begins to cry. She thinks to herself, at a loss. "What's it worth? Why even try?" What did she do? Why is eveything She ever does a mistake to them? So different from her older brother- Always the favorite, always babied. She tried to argue, tried to justufy Her actions, seemingly her every move. Things have spun out of control Like a whirli...
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Version 4
5 Reviews
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Her name was Shiloh. As she sauntered into the room, I felt like… I don’t even know how to put that feeling into words that could surmount to what I truly feel, or even words at all. But I'll certainly try. As I watched her, as if in slow motion, I took in every bit of her immaculate beauty – her lusciously dark, flowing hair, her sensuous curves, her deep, passionate, unearthly green eyes, her full, seductive lips, her goddess-like legs, and her incredible grace and elegance. At that precis...
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Version 2
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Sometimes we see love and follies, Sometimes we see melancholy. Sometimes images are condescending, Sometimes blank stares are never-ending. Sometimes lies are so explicit, Sometimes lies make reflections mystic. Sometimes truth makes mouths metallic, Sometimes comments are anencephalic. Sometimes this thing of power lays to rest, Sometimes we find it, and become obsessed. Sometimes an object with intentions so clear, Sometimes can cause images we come to fear.
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Version 2
1 Review
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It was a night of blissful remedies. A night of drinks, humour, and merriment. Preceded by a day filled with scorn and anger. Anger that dissapated with the first cocktail. And was merely a faint notion by drink #3. A night full of joy, joy laced with tension, Full of new names and faces I can't remember The faces of my "roommate"'s family, over for the night The only hint of hate left by this time was in my voice But that too soon fled, fled in a hurry at the sight of her. It's amazing what ...
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Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
It was a night of blissful remedies. A night of drinks, humour, and merriment. Preceded by a day filled with scorn and anger. Anger that dissapated with the first cocktail. And was merely a faint notion by drink #3. A night full of joy, joy laced with tension, Full of new names and faces I can't remember The faces of my "roommate"'s family, over for the night The only hint of hate left by this time was in my voice But that too soon fled, fled in a hurry at the sight of her. It's amazing what ...
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Wow. Very emotional. If there were any grammar or punctuation mistakes, I was too captured by the story to notice. Actually a couple things I noticed: Punctuation:"Mom bought a really hot red dress with spaghetti straps and put it at her end of my closet." And a little awkward wording here: "The red dress is hot, but I have other ideas to wear." Otherwise, it was terrific! You use very rich detail and your choice of wording throughout was great. And to tell you the truth, I don't generally l...
This story is gripping as well as intriguing. It began as a quasi romance, but with the discovery of the mysterious necklace, became more of a suspense story (though the romance lingered). Great attention to detal, varied sentence structure, and terrific word choice throughout. Overall, a great job! Best of luck getting published, can't wait to read more!
Great attention to detail and wonderful visuals. Your plot seems well-developed, considering this is a piece of something else. Your sentence structure and form is varied and interesting. You have aunique form/ style, I would love to read more of this story (both what it is a part of and the preceding book). Over all, great job, great story. Bravo.
You could work on adding more detail/imagery. Also, some sticky grammar and spelling mistakes here and there. My advice for grammar - copy writing into microsoft work and click spell check (that's what I do). Otherwise, a decent story line. You have a good start - you can only go up from here and I can tell you will.
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