This has the potential to be really powerful. I felt the end was forced, the rest of the writing has a very clear meter. If I had been walking, the ending feels like I was stumbling. Hopefully that makes sense. The third to last stanza has the same stumbling feeling only on the last line. I love the concept and like the choice of words. Keep up the good writing

This story feels like it's been told before, the names of the people are obviously different, and the conflict feels used as well. That shouldn't deter you from creating the whole story, but I feel like you have to be very careful not to recreate scenes people have already seen and read. These sentences seem like they are difficult to understand. It was once a prosperous world built around technology; having five continents each with its own race of people Seven years after that event, a youn...

I like for it's simplicity, but in the first stanza I had trouble with "But she couldn’t do anything for his bum." The meter seems to change there without much notice. Besides that almost every line is 3 -4 words.

This is awesome! I enjoyed reading this almost as much as Bukowski! You misspelled plain near the end. I don't know why I like this so much, but it has charisma. The only separation from the title is the word "lover" I don't see how that fits in, but to hell with it right? Good writing, I really needed to read this!

I like this A lot! My attention is at full alert, the fact that they ignore the warning is a great twist and transition.

I like the tribute to autumn. I feel like the last stamina should have a couple lines to add symmetry, however not all beauty is symmetrical. The personification of leaves is interesting. It is also interesting that you made this universal by using "you" and not "I". Good writing but it lacks conflict, maybe the woes of winter will add some conflict. Besides being pleasant I don't think it has enough substance to make it truly memorable.

"The spot for the family of the murderer, hardly the word worthy as it implies that the person called that had some humanity left in him, was left empty; the ones that hadn’t been killed refused to set foot outside their houses, in fear that they might suffer from the horrible fate the rest of them already had." The semicolon implies that these 2 ideas share the same idea and work off of each other. But the interjection makes this hard to follow. I think it may be more powerful to omit "hardl...

I don't care for punctuation in poems but that hyphen confuses me. I don't know if there is enough here to form any consistent meaning. It's thought provoking but in an overall sense your audience doesn't have that thing they can bond with and relate to.

This is nice. It seems typical we lose ourselves but never realize the mistakes we are making, at the times we are making them. Humanity may not last forever, however our imprint will span across many layers of the Earth's history.

Wow, the suspense is really poured on there in the end.... After all that build up, it almost seems as the whole thing was more trouble than it was worth. But then again there are few experiences as dangerous as forbidden pleasures. Good piece :)