blu3fish's profile

I enjoyed the narrative quality of this piece. There doesn't seem to be much of a specific meter used. Was this intentional? The 2nd (3rd?) stanza beginning with 'as if' you begin to explore imagery relating to a museum experience but then it rapidly morphs into the placidity of watching television. I think these two images could be linked together in a better way, perhaps by giving them their own stanzas and writing more on each (because I liked where you were going with each - I just wanted...

Ain't that the truth. The only thing I would say about the chosen words is that the 'f' in 'wonderful' ties up the tongue just long enough to rush the next 'f' in 'flow' I wouldn't normally point out such a peculiar detail but this challenge has called forth the stickler.