bdfielding's profile
AGE:
41
LOC: Rochester, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 17
LOC: Rochester, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 17
I have a passion for writing. I even buy blank greeting cards. Poetry, essay, shorts, fiction… I love it all except…... finishing. If there were a position available for writing the opening 10 pages of another’s book, I’d be a wealthy man…. as it is, I’m just a sad man with a twice unfinished novel. I’m hoping this community will help me to find whatever it is I am missing and inspire me to finish the thing so I can move to the rejection letters.
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews
10 Comments
Chapter 2 The Novitiate carried the tray along the hall, the silver and plates rattling from his trembling arm. He had never been so nervous but, then again, he had never been in the presence of the Archmage in all his years at the Academy. He’d spent his youth here, struggling with the hard looks from the others, living with his parent’s disgust. It was rare for a human to enter The Elven Way’s mysterious world, rarer still to do so with the hope of becoming a Mage. The other Novices had a j...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
Ragged tears mark the path taken The past runs down my fingers Pooling about my shadowed form In the crimson depths the pain lingers I stretch out, seek again to cross The world slides by, forward again But as always, I glance down The pool stays where it has always been A part of me, my burden to keep I try.. I've tried... so many times over the years But while the view may change, even glow My shade remains with one foot in my fears The cuts, they stay with me, unhealed Stitched shut by a c...
Version 1
11 Reviews
4 Comments
Arkinal had already taken steps to limit the pain but that didn’t repair the damage to his hands. His blood pattered down onto his coif, sounding just like a gentle spring rain, while the gashes in his palms and the blood flowing freely over his tattered skin conspired against him. One slip was all that it would take to send him plummeting hundreds of feet to his death. It had been months since he had seen home where he was sent away by his master on this nameless quest. He had seen many str...
Version 1
17 Reviews
4 Comments
Jeff Harmon collected simple truths. He kept them in a special place, observed them, lived with them throughout each day of his life. There were two truths most prominent at the moment. Truth one, he hated his damn stomach and it hated him. Truth two, always use the Cadillac stall. It always had paper, had the little bar to rest your arm on, and was roomy. Most important of all, it was too long of a walk for those whose mission in life seemed to be the wrecking someone's day with an errant st...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
I grab ether, it would seem The words flee pel mel I point, I huff, I flop And another god laughs My eyes are wet Bear witness to me Losing a bit more of myself Can you hear them laughing? I hide the distress It's... blue... fucking blue The thing... sucking wind... no words Damn them anyway And they ask me Maybe.... just old, right? Make it fit... cut the fear A twist in the god's gift Not enough to lose Much more to lack trust To be dismissed.... appeased How the Val Hallan's roll In the he...
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Reviews
Daydream buckles under the pressure and slowly retreats against overwhelming odds. .... I'd eliminate this line... it weakens the previous line's originality. Daydream is now doing it’s General Custer bit and is making the present pay dearly in nanoseconds ... ot sure Custer is the best choice here since he is widely known as a victim rather than a punisher. The commentator bit runs a little long. Since you break off suddenly, I am comfortable recommending that you ut everything after the "Do...
L1 and L2 - Excellent verse, expressive and lyrical L3 - I'd replace 'smudge' with 'brush' or something that gives the impression of tool use. Smudge made me thing of finger painting while the first two lines made me thing of brush strokes. L4 - 'smother' is too similar to 'smudge' and breaks the rythym. I'd look for a different sounding word.. perhaps 'blind' or 'deaden' L7 to L9 - you return to beautiful verse here again. I'd look closely at L3 to L6 and try to capture that same sense of po...
L1 - I'm assuming you meant humorous rather than the arm bone. L4 - even in poetry it is best not to leave things dangling, try switching it around to remove 'is' from the end of the line A pleasant little tribute to a friend. Nice.
First, the easy answer.... I have hundreds of Fantasy titles on my shelves and pay little attention the chapter title. This is also true for the small bits of verse or ancient text quotes. It could be it is just me, but they essentially don't exist to me. I've noticed that some authors use them as a form of lazy man's forshadowing and they seem to be a constant in young adult fiction. Perhaps kids find them a comfort or just need that nudge to keep going. His lips curled back as he threw the ...
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