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bbandsissy's profile
AGE:
46
LOC: Walden, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 12
LOC: Walden, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 12
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Items
Version 1
66 Reviews
9 Comments
BB is the Big Brother. In March he will turn seven. He's in first grade at EC school. His best friend there is Devon. He's learnig how to play the guitar. He likes running and rideing his bike. He likes playing t-ball in little league, and going fishing with his other friend Mike. Sissy is the little sister. Last July she had her third birthday. She wears her hair in poney tails. Like her big cousin Sarah Fay. She loves playing with her baby dolls, and she likes collecting stones. She takes d...
Version 1
67 Reviews
4 Comments
It's New Years Eve and BB and Sissy are ready to celebrate. Just for tonight, their Mommy and Daddy said they can stay up late. They blow their horns and drink their grape juice when the midnight bells start to chime. Then they climb in bed and go to sleep because tonight comes Father Time. He flies through thr air like a humming bird, and under each pillow leaves a gift. He completes his job in the blink of an eye because it's almost the end of his shift. The Baby New Year has taken the thro...
Version 1
67 Reviews
15 Comments
BB is in his booster and Sissy is in her car seat. They are going for a ride today to give their GG a treat. GG lives very far away in a special place. She doesn't get to see them much, or their Nana Grace. A nursing home is what they call the place where GG stays. The nurses ther take care of her and give her busy days. When BB sees his GG he goes and gives her a hug and a kiss. She hugs him back then says to Sissy, "Come give me some to my little miss." When Sissy gives Gg a kiss and a hug ...
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Reviews
I like this story alot. I think you can take out the beginning, about the bus, and just start with him standing at the side of the road. The story, your story teller told reminds me of "The Twilight Zone". Maybe you could give the story (of the story teller) some kind of twisted ending. Good luck.
Some of your imagery is wonderful, some of it is a little confusing. Why did you shorten it from a novel to a poem? I'd like to see more, maybe a short story. Good luck.
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