So this review was going to start off by slagging most fantasy pieces by having ridiculous names, but then I started reading... Raven, cliched, but acceptable, Laurel (reminds me of a long-ago sitcom) and Stephan... hey I have an Uncle Steve... the setting and talk of dragons and war mages (aren't all mages supposed to be offensive as opposed to defensive?) and I was starting back to thinking about genre bits. A bit overwritten or heavy handed in parts, when "Stephan said nothing in reply to ...

I'm not an expert on screenwriting, so I can't comment on the formatting, but as far as setting a scene, I'm intrigued what's going to happen next, so to that end you hooked me in. Not sure about the VO though, hearing a voice over with the word "poignantly" outloud is going to sound awkward in most situations aside from A&E Biographies, if you know what I'm getting at. So... what happens next?

Interesting punctuation. Very ee cummings, at least that was my first thought until reading about the cat o' nine tails. Which is the correct spelling, not sure why it was spelled with a K as it made me think of a foreign exchange student back in High School that went by the name Kat. Again, the last time I checked, JC's name was capitalized. But now let's get into the meat of your quote as so far as my review: Society is a thorn pricking, piercing, slicing through your heart. I'd like a bit ...

I like it. I mean, are we to take, you are finally hitting the big-time because we see your name on pages that don't smudge when you touch them? I long for that moment, as I'm sure a lot of us do. Of course, you could be appearing in the tabloids for that tryst with a certain celebrity as well. There is no such thing as bad publicity, eh?

3 reads, three reviews: 1. Depressing, if you believe that your future is already written, there is no real free-will, because everything, even the illusion of choice is already predetermined. 2. You'll never finish writing until the man strikes you down. A personal fear of mine, I'd get caught up in some big creative project, and kick the bucket before it was fully realized, leaving everyone to wonder what could have been. Very few people have bookends for their lives work, there's always a ...

Hm, this is a tough one, I find pastiches of both 4chan, William S. Burroughs, and Godard here. "Did I get caned" should probably be "Did I get canned". As a satire or homage to other works, I can see the threads connecting it to them. As a stand-alone piece, though, I am not so sure. Certainly you have no trouble with supposed "taboo" subjects such as the Holocaust, although initially, I thought of the Sarin gas attacks in Japan a decade ago, moreso than 1940's Europe. I'd like to see more, ...

The visual of putting down the gear is what really grabbed me with this piece. From the "mouth of love"? Not sure about that, mate, but the piece itself definately has the power to make you think. Which is hard, love poems are hard to pull off, particularly in today's day and age.

Nice piece. I got that "snapshot" that people talk about when speaking of flash fiction, I saw that small scene for a brief moment. That being said, I think this could be even better in future rewrites. First of all, the semicolons are overused. Get rid of them. The last line should end as a question, or rather, I guess it could, to keep everything looking uniform. I know this isn't a poem, but, I'm just stating what I'd do in a future draft. Urbis is sometimes wonky with spacing, so I'm not ...

I'd break up the formatting of some of the longer mini-grafs, but it could be Urbis itself doing that formatting. Interesting story, you look for a woman, but you find a Paul. I'd like to think Paul is a tranny, because that'd make the story even more interesting, at least to me, but we'll just leave that open for the time being, I'm not sure if that would count as a "fetish" as you stated previous in the story. Favorite line by far is "I sat in a swivel chair and grew a beard." I laughed out...

Well, there's nothing for me specific to go over, so I'll just do an overall critique. It makes sense, and I'd agree with the statement, you know when you truly care for a person/love a person when you put their needs above, or at least on equal footing with your own. As humans, in general, we are usually self-centered, and only a spouse or offspring, for the most part, temporarily (or in some cases permanently) moves us out of that mindset.