axiom49's profile
AGE:
23
LOC: Alpharetta, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 21
LOC: Alpharetta, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 21
I’m finding my way through this crazy world of writing. I started with poetry years ago, migrated to short stories, I’m finishing up a novel right now, and working on flash fiction in between. I promise to be honest with my reviews, for better or worse. I’d prefer to read anything but poetry, I believe I burned myself out from enjoying that genre fully many moons ago. Keep writing!
Items
Version 3
10 Reviews
12 Comments
“Wedzell, watch your mouth!” He stopped sipping long enough to look up to answer, “I can’t watch my mouth. I don’t see no mirror, do you?” “That’s not the point. You are supposed to be professional when you are on the floor. When you are on your break or lunch, when you are outside of this place, I don’t care what you say or do.” The manager glared over Wedzell trying not to spill the coffee as his hand was shaking between sips. “Fuck that,” Wedzell said, putting the coffee sputtering from th...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
10 Reviews
11 Comments
Wedzell watch your mouth! I can’t watch my mouth. I don’t see no mirror, do you? That’s not the point. You are supposed to be professional when you are on the floor. When you are on your break or lunch, when you are outside of this place, I don’t care what you say or do. Fuck that, he said, putting the coffee sputtering from the Styrofoam cup onto the table. Wedzell, clean that up, will you? Why? So you can tell me I’m not benefiting the customers? Not showing enough business focus? Or is thi...
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3 reads, three reviews: 1. Depressing, if you believe that your future is already written, there is no real free-will, because everything, even the illusion of choice is already predetermined. 2. You'll never finish writing until the man strikes you down. A personal fear of mine, I'd get caught up in some big creative project, and kick the bucket before it was fully realized, leaving everyone to wonder what could have been. Very few people have bookends for their lives work, there's always a ...
I like it. I mean, are we to take, you are finally hitting the big-time because we see your name on pages that don't smudge when you touch them? I long for that moment, as I'm sure a lot of us do. Of course, you could be appearing in the tabloids for that tryst with a certain celebrity as well. There is no such thing as bad publicity, eh?
Interesting punctuation. Very ee cummings, at least that was my first thought until reading about the cat o' nine tails. Which is the correct spelling, not sure why it was spelled with a K as it made me think of a foreign exchange student back in High School that went by the name Kat. Again, the last time I checked, JC's name was capitalized. But now let's get into the meat of your quote as so far as my review: Society is a thorn pricking, piercing, slicing through your heart. I'd like a bit ...
I'm not an expert on screenwriting, so I can't comment on the formatting, but as far as setting a scene, I'm intrigued what's going to happen next, so to that end you hooked me in. Not sure about the VO though, hearing a voice over with the word "poignantly" outloud is going to sound awkward in most situations aside from A&E Biographies, if you know what I'm getting at. So... what happens next?
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