axiom49's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Alpharetta, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 07
LOC: Alpharetta, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 07
I’m finding my way through this crazy world of writing. I started with poetry years ago, migrated to short stories, I’m finishing up a novel right now, and working on flash fiction in between. I promise to be honest with my reviews, for better or worse. I’d prefer to read anything but poetry, I believe I burned myself out from enjoying that genre fully many moons ago. Keep writing!
Items
Version 3
30 Reviews
14 Comments
“Wedzell, watch your mouth!” He stopped sipping long enough to look up to answer, “I can’t watch my mouth. I don’t see no mirror, do you?” “That’s not the point. You are supposed to be professional when you are on the floor. When you are on your break or lunch, when you are outside of this place, I don’t care what you say or do.” The manager glared over Wedzell trying not to spill the coffee as his hand was shaking between sips. “Fuck that,” Wedzell said, putting the coffee sputtering from th...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
10 Reviews
11 Comments
Wedzell watch your mouth! I can’t watch my mouth. I don’t see no mirror, do you? That’s not the point. You are supposed to be professional when you are on the floor. When you are on your break or lunch, when you are outside of this place, I don’t care what you say or do. Fuck that, he said, putting the coffee sputtering from the Styrofoam cup onto the table. Wedzell, clean that up, will you? Why? So you can tell me I’m not benefiting the customers? Not showing enough business focus? Or is thi...
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Reviews
For a limerick, this is not pretty, and that's saying something. It technically fits the rhyming scheme aa/bb/a, however the line breakup is what I'd like to call cheating, in particular, line 2, which ends with "news. is" I'm not sure if this is trying to be clever, or provide witty political commentary, but as a limerick, it falls flat, and as political commentary, the jury is out. I think your ideas would have come across better in a different format, probably in the form of an article or ...
Well without any specific instructions, I'll go for a broader review. The poem is uneven at 4 lines + 3 lines for two stanzas pushed into one larger one. If we look at the piece as two separate stanzas, the second half is heavy syllable wise, with the final two lines being 6 syllables whereas every other line is either 3 or 4. I'm not saying the poem doesn't work, I completely gathered a sense of what you were trying to convey with this piece, I think the presentation could use a bit of polis...
I believe that I have heard this phrase before, or at least something rather similar. Nevertheless, you have reminded me of fond days reading Foucault in college and hearing about the Panopticon. So we are not aware of the chains we are bound with. We think about the luxury of having credit cards, but don't think that all the information that is provided for all of our transactions is probably going to used to market and categorize people as consumer in the future. Very Matrix-like.
Okay so your big questions are A. Would we request the manuscript B. Why or why not Alright, I'll bite. I'm not a literary agent, but as a writer and a potential consumer of your work, I will give you my honest opinion. A book of this topic could do very well, if written well, and marketed properly. Based on what you have stated in the query letter you are willing to give a first person perspective for what emotional and physical rigors are needed to be an organ donor. It could be an upliftin...
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