axelk's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Romania
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 20
LOC: Romania
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 20
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Items
Version 1
4 Reviews
3 Comments
First thing’s first: My name is Bijoux Moule and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading my petite book. I could guess what you are thinking. How good can a porn actress be at writing? Well my dear ladies and gentlemen, that is something we will have to establish, won’t we? I bet you expect to find in the following lines very juicy stories about men and women whom I let pilgrimage my beautifully sculpted body. Maybe you will find your jerking material in the following l...
Version 2
13 Reviews
7 Comments
Assumption is the mother, brother, father of all fuck ups “It’s not that I don’t love you honey… it’s just that I don’t feel the spark anymore. No butterflies, no stomachache, no goose bumps. So I do love you but just as you love your cat or your dog or you’re favorite t-shirt or pair of jeans. I just have the sense that I own you that I am somehow attached but I don’t look forward to seeing you everyday when you come from work. I don’t feel the urge of buying you flowers or chocolate, I don’...
Version 3
29 Reviews
27 Comments
Have you ever been swept away? I mean grabbed by your ankles and thrown in the air so hard that the tip of your nose touched the first cloud? I’m not talking about a Peter Pan kind of flight but more of an angel flight combined with a Superman one, from the days he used to fly after Lois. And as you fly against gravity with a “v” velocity and an “a” acceleration greater than any terrestrial thing that ever cut you off, with your feet facing the sky and your eyes down looking at the ant farm b...
Version 1
23 Reviews
15 Comments
Asumption is the mother, brother, father of all fuck ups "It's not that I don't love you honey... it's just that I don't feel the spark anymore. No butterflies, no stomach ache, no goose-bumps. So I do love you but just as you love your cat or your dog or you're favorite t-shirt or pair of jeans. I just have the sense that I own you, that I am somehow attached but I don't look forward to seeing you everyday when you come from work. I don't feel the urge of buying you flowers or chocolate, I d...
Version 2
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Have you ever been swept away? I mean grabbed by your ankles and thrown in the air so hard that the tip of your nose touched the first cloud? I’m not talking about a Peter Pan kind of flight but more of an angel flight combined with a Superman one from the days he used to fly after Lois. And as you fly against gravity with a “v” velocity and an “a” acceleration greater than any terrestrial thing that ever cut you off, with your feet facing the sky and your eyes down looking at the ant farm be...
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Reviews
For a Warcraft inspired poem I found this to be pretty good. I paid good attention to the last two lines but I think they are ok still the most superficial of them all. The other stanzas are better constructed
First of all I would like to say that I think it was a great effort from your part. It is very intelligently written and your easiness with which you wrote seems obvious. Still, for me at least, it was too sci at less fi. Too many scientific details blurred the story line and I found it a little bit difficult to read. Overall a good piece of writing.
This appears to me as some sort of a road story if such genre exists. I liked it overall because it has some dynamism that I feel it just fits right in it. Still it is too short. You should develop it further. just as I started getting used to it, as it grew on me it ended. That's a shame.
So, this is not exactly a short story. It is maybe a dialog from a short story. I would have liked to see an introductive passage of some sort. Still the good thing is that you managed somehow to tell us something about the characters through their discussion. The ending needs a bit of work too. It just ends too sudden. The voice of the narrator is appearing too soon and it is too short.
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