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aturnpikeopera's profile
AGE:
21
LOC: Boston, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 13
LOC: Boston, MA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: November 13
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Version 1
3 Reviews
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"Thank you for calling Bed Bath & Beyond. This is Caitlin speaking, how may I direct your call?" "Hi, is this Bed Bath & Beyond?" "Yes it is." "The one on Route 1 South? "Yep." "By TJ Maxx and the Quakerbridge Mall?" "Yes ma'am." "In Lawrenceville?" Seriously? &n...
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Good job, although some dialogue seems a bit awkward in places.
I really like what you have here so far, but I feel like it could definitely be longer. Who is this boy? How old is the narrator? More sensory details could be beneficial also. At the same time though, it definitely works as a short-short story, paralleling the brevity of the encounter. PS I miss you
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