This is a good piece, but I also think there could be some room for improvement. I'm usually turned off by rhyming poetry because, more often than not, rhyming feels forced and unnatural, however, you did a decent job in keeping the flow smooth (for the most part). My suggestion would be to look over a few of the rhymes (specifically "It’s a haze so thick I can’t see through it A line so fine The step I took it") to see that you're not repeating words just to rhyme them, and that the images c...

The imagery in this piece is very well done. Not only did you paint a vivid picture of the job itself, but you were able to integrate some pretty powerful metaphorical images into the piece that you may or may not have been aware of. For a job that seems somewhat bland to the outside world, you've been able to bring it to life with this piece. I found it really interesting how you personified some of the objects, assigning them different body parts, like, "Orange plastic umbilical cord" and, ...

This piece feels very real to me. I can tell that there's a lot of truth within it, but I'm sort of lost reading it, because I don't know WHO is writing it, or from what perspective. Try clarifying this a bit more, or expand the piece and introduce the speaker through their actions, words, etc.

You've got a very promising start with this piece. I like a lot of the images you create--very vivd imagery-- and you're very consistent with the tone of the piece all the way through. I'd just like to point out that, at the begining, you use a lot of adjectives, some of which are unnecessary. Try looking through to se if you can take a few out without losing anything from the story. I'm sure you can. I look forward to reading what's next.

You did well with the images, but the rhyming felt forced at times. Usually, to me a least, poetry with rhyme really has to flow well for it to be successful. Rhyming seems like a cheap way out of delving deeper into things, as if giving something rhyme gives it rules, and by following rules, you can't go wrong. I think you should look over this and really try to determine whether the rhyming is an integral part of the poem, or if you were using it to get out of freeing the part of your uncon...

I can see a lot of potential in this piece, but I'll be honest, I was extremely confused about what was going on, especially towards the end. I think you should expand the piece and clear things up a bit. You've got a very vivd way of describing things and the tone of the piece is well set by the way you describe what the main guy sees in the sheets, the stars spinning, things becoming blurry, etc. Work on it and bring out a story, and if you can, try to make the story character driven as opp...

As a backstory, this is an excellent start. If you want to develop this into a story, you should write more about what happened with Molly. What did she say? Why did she say it? What is her relationship to Maggie? To Nikolas? Obviously you've got a few things you could build off of here; you could go in the direction of the pregnancy, or you could go in the direction of Nikolas needing to tell her the "truth." Something that might not be completely relevant to the story, but might help you an...

The title of this isn't befitting the piece it's attached itself to--really, I think that every writer goes through this same kind of thought process at LEAST three or four times a day, whether it be consciously or not, and the fact that you can articulate doubt certainly says something about you as a writer. I found it easy to understand this piece because I know exactly where you're coming from with it. I have these kinds of feelings every day. However, all of that aside, I've got to tell y...