astral206's profile

astral206 avatar
AGE: 23
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 01

I live in Japan currently and am originally from Austin Tx.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Poetry / Luminous? Future
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Solid walls loom above that persistent vapor Surrounding the fortress, insistent to stay here. She tastes so sweet, something like apples Still basting in discreet overhanging scaffolds. I'm baffled about tomorrow and the day after; Yesterday leaves me wanting to move faster, Towards the Sun, and to that spot behind it Awaits an unknown life and a God to bind it. But still, I'm only blinded, forever, and I like it.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
A shallow lake once spoke, you see. She said in a bright soliloquy, "Why do stones not love my water?" I replied to her without falter: "Because they skip and sink and hit the bottom. Only those throwing ever saw them. They love your kiss and shiny mist But come to rest in so fast a coffin." She was taken aback and began to react, Gushing up gallons in a watery attack! Millions of stones were floating in air; All but one went every which where. The lone stone dug deep and started to weep, Hol...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Hopes and dreams are random things That we wear and tout like golden rings, Placing them high upon that pedestal; Then we fall and feel like there's no better fool. It's regrettable, truly, we are so unprepared. The unknown attacking like a bear's teeth bared. Fight or flight, the workman's plight; Everyone is wrong in the eyes of the right. But shy from the light and stare into shadows; You might find your lives hanging from scaffolds. Baffled eyes blinking a familiar pattern; Tattered rags ...
Ratings & Rankings
Flash Fiction / True Story
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
We came together, joined between the hips, going halves on a baby. Lips on awkward lips, quivering and shivering; the heat from friction forcing cold to flee. We met more placidly, in a coffee shop. I was a little late for work, but not for fate. I saw you soon enough. You had a cinnamon scone being eaten on your plate, icing on your cheek, and an open book held up. Your dark hair seemed afraid of your shoulders, curling upwards towards the sky right before it would have grazed your nape. My...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Adam
Version 1
11 Reviews   4 Comments
Adam I arrive to class on time. My watch must be off. As I walk into the silent classroom, every head looks up as the door closes behind me. I freeze and glance around the room. All the boys, a little more than half the class, have close-cropped hair that shies away from their ears. They sport grey sweaters and black slacks, displaying the Red Sash on their right arms, above the elbow. The girls’ sweater-vests and skirts are much the same, the only exception being they donned the sash as a sc...
Ratings & Rankings
 Plus-button Clarity
Reviews
Poetry / A Feeble Attempt
So many times this has afflicted people who are in love. I've had it happen and it truly hurts. Good poem.
Not taking time to help or shair*. Greedly reaching out and taking for their own gain. Stepping on each other ignoreing* their pain. ignoreing* their pain. Fix the spelling errors. Overall, I liked it. Good meter, rhyme, and topic. Sad is always good.
Sci Fi & Fantasy / yes or no
Traveller’s ever(y)where... ... wrist. He’s shaking his head, backing(space)off... Ok, here goes: Very choppy and undefined. Sounds more like an outline than a story. Characters have no names. Change this. I can see a space opera out of this. Make sure everyone is over dramatic in their characters and beleivable at the same time. Dialogue also needs work. I recommend a complete rewrite with a solid idea of where you are heading.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Humor/Satire / Friar Mortimer's Bounce
This was ok. I liked the descriptions of the friar's brain, the nun's face looking like a sausage in a q-tip, and the nervousness was really conveyed. Edit this up, fix spelling errors, and retype. I look forward to reading more.
Poetry / Colicking, again
Disgustingly descriptive and I hope you do not suffer this curse. Thanks for the definition at the top. Otherwise, thanks for leaving me with a really bad feeling about this condition. I wish to vomit now...