apb148's profile
AGE:
42
LOC: South Portland, ME
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 19
LOC: South Portland, ME
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 19
I have been looking for other writers to critique my writing so I can grow as a writer.
Items
Version 1
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Quiet moments Are like a shell on the beach. Something beautiful, Something to be savored. For just as quickly as it is left For our pleasure, It can be carried away By the waves in our life.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
2 Reviews
3 Comments
The desert bloom Is as delicate as a hummingbird Yet it is strong enough to withstand an hot and arid landscape. It is a source of hope where hope seems lost. The desert bloom Displays the radiant colors of the rainbow Where hardly a drop of rain ever falls. It is serenity in a troubled land. The desert bloom Reaches for the warmth of the desert sun As the mind of a child reaches for understanding Of the world around. The desertbloom Is a gift of life from God To a ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
5 Reviews
5 Comments
Sara walked into the door again. My desk sat next to the copy room, and for the last three days she would walk by me with something Mr. Coch, we always called him Mr. Crotch behind his back, gave her to copy, and say “hi” without stopping. Then she would crash into the door, say sorry, and disappear through the door with a nervous laugh and a red face. Sara and I had been friends since we were in the second grade. I say friends since the second grade only because that’s when...
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I love the fact that we both went for the same contest. Yours is better. The idea of auditioning for a pirate then becoming the same pirate is a great idea. I do, however, think this idea is worthy of a lot more than the contest allows. I think the transition should be slower, and longer. When he puts on the patch, possibly he could hear a ships bell. Just an idea. It also sounds like the story is just beginning, and I don't see the end. I think you should keep going. It is well written and I...
Wow, if Tula would do that to a punching bag, what would she do to the actual guy. This piece is very well written, and should get an agent easily. I do however think the punching bag would be sufficient, I think the thing about slicing the guy up to "paper the living room" may be a bit over the top. Someone might think this is an attempt at male bashing. I would love to find out what happens next, let me know when the book comes out.
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