annana's profile

annana avatar
AGE: 58
LOC: Australia
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: December 08

    I’m in my 50s, with a very diverse life experience. I read voraciously, and tend to like history, philosophy, speculative fiction and crime. That’s also what I plan to write, though as a history buff, I like a good, and interesting, background. While fantasy is great, I generally avoid reading the stuff that seems too formulaic. I do enjoy Tanith Lee, Ursula LeGuin, and Sherri Tepper, and writers like Emma Bull and Charles DeLint. They all seem to give very good value, and a lot of deeper interpretation, even if working to established themes and patterns. I enjoy some horror.
   I’m here to get feedback on my work. I expect reviewers to actually give me details on they like and don’t like. I have started to ask for refunds for revi…

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Sci Fi & Fantasy / Wine & Tears - Ch 17
Version 1
3 Reviews   3 Comments
*Ch 17* The call of a night-bird woke him, or perhaps movement from one of the sleeping horses. The warmth of Kamesh lying spoon-fashion in front of him, the weight of his cape, was the first thing Sandik was aware of. He noticed how she filled this small world, the physical presence of the sleeping dancer in his arms. _So close. She always seems a little insubstantial when she's awake, all movement, light and fire._ He could imagine her face (_His face. Remember._), slim, intelligent hazel e...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / wine & Tears - Ch 14
Version 1
5 Reviews   1 Comment
*Wine & Tears* *Ch 14* Battalion commander Makandesh strode down the hall, the intermittent illumination of the candles in the sconces making the shadowed lines of anger dance, turning his face into a demon mask. Flinging open a reinforced wooden door, he entered the office with considerable energy. He pushed one side of a heavy armchair, turning it toward the desk where his second-in command sat. Stripping off his jacket, he threw it over another chair and sat with considerably more force th...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / wine & Tears - Ch 16
Version 1
5 Reviews   6 Comments
*Wine & Tears* *Ch 16* “How many men are there?” Sandik took charge, snapping out the question. The newcomer, Kal, responded to the authority in the soldier's voice. “Don't know. I seed mebbe 7, but I thinks there's more. Not many more, but.” “Tell us everything you can.” “I were coming back from th' privy when I heared 'orses, an' hid. They rid up, an' broke apart, sending some up 'round th' back, so's they cud see 'twixt th' houses. Then one stopped wid th' 'orses, and four o' em went busti...
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / wine & Tears - Ch 15
Version 1
4 Reviews   9 Comments
*Wine & Tears* *Ch 15* Drojendrik felt as if he was being watched. He scanned the shadowy low roofed hall, broken on both sides with recessed doors. It was lit with small cups of ghee in which floated tiny boats holding wicks. They sat flickering in shallow niches in the plastered walls. Here and there would be a cup placed by a door. Looking both ways, Drojen could see three nearby doors with lights, several more in the dim distance in either direction. Most of the doors were unlit, the room...
Ratings & Rankings
Sci Fi & Fantasy / WIne and Tears - Maps
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
These are maps for the story Wine & Tears. This is the plains of Saran. Saran is an empire, and Saran as a region is the southern plateau, but the plains have long been in their possession. Saran is in the southern hemisphere. !http://www.cats.oceandrop.org/saran_plains.jpg! http://www.cats.oceandrop.org/saran_plains.jpg The site of most of the early action in the story is Pujin, the region of the eastern plains. It is a relatively dry area, particularly toward the east. The Sindhal region to...
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Reviews
Horror / Entering The Threshold
by DrowningDeep
You have a good sense for engagement and drama, basic prerequisites for a storyteller. It is, generally, the technical things you need to develop. I will mention that “Teenagers enter a supposedly haunted building on a dare” is a *very* heavily used plot device. You'll have to really work to make this interesting, and to introduce real suspense. Do what you can to inject a novel approach, and stay away from other “standard” props and plotlines. One way to do that is by making characters a li...
Horror / Chapter 1
by Qwantu
General Comments: You asked reviewers to “give it to you”. I do so in a spirit of constructive critique. Reading this as the beginning of a book, I don’t know if I’d buy it or keep reading. “White girls kidnapped by foul-mouthed black men” is a theme too likely to descend into cliché. What might hold me in is a really good rendering of her emotional state, and an emotional state more interesting than “Oh my god! How can this be happening to me?” Unfortunately, that’s not what I get. The cluel...
Short Story / Night Train
by Howard_Bushart
General impression is of descriptive prose, mostly well punctuated. Yet some of the description is weakened. Phrases like - _constant clattering rattle of the wheels on the rails became a rhythmic “clack-clack, clack-clack,_ - would probably have been stronger using one set of imagery or another (the "constant clattering", or the "click-clack"). Overall, you paint a picture, a good thing. Hints, like Pete, his cigarette, and the term "pup" create impression, but I want detail. Most strongly,...
Poetry / Little Bird
by Sweettouch
I liked the concept, the feeling of the poem, but tripped up on a word or two. There didn't seem to be a set meter, so I wasn't sure why lines like _but someday soon you now will go_ weren't simply "but someday soon you'll go". It may be simply that I'm not saying it right. Overall, I liked it.
Sci Fi & Fantasy / "Echo" Ch.4 (Final)
by starhammer1
General comments: I can't tell you how this will work with your other parts, not having read them. :( The story has potential, but you will have to do some serious re-drafting to bring it out. Overall, the sections from Alice's POV were reasonably active. The story has inherent tension, though you will have to work to keep it from being cliché. Sudden crashes of alien crafts have featured in many stories and movies. It will be interesting to see how you develop this one. The major issues I se...
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