angelgirl's profile
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LAST LOGIN: June 09
LAST LOGIN: June 09
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Version 1
6 Reviews
1 Comment
You hate to live day to day Yet you stay only to serve Vendettas You have lost your purpose Only to love You have lost your soul only to hate The love you once projected I no longer feel For now I feel danger The danger of a vendetta Is death to you Is death to us Yet you live day to day With out soul and with out love You're going to break and wonder why You're going to come to me and cry, When you do, I will tell you, You lost your soul to a vendetta A vendetta that you thought would save y...
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Beautiful! It kind reveals the facts of a code of silence that has been forced. Forced by only you.
The beginning was clear on what you were trying to say...the middle of the poem was forced...or you knew what you wanted to say but couldn't find the words for your inner most expressions. The end of your poem was wonderful!...but I think you could have ended with a stronger word...overall, beautiful.
I understtod this poem completely. Nothing needs to be changed at all...this was well written. Thank You. You are an amazing writer. Keep writing...from the heart...broken or not.
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The dialogue is fascinating. This short story is long yet intriguing. The way that the author tells his story is by imagery and hanging words that lead to the next. Great writing and wonderful exhibits of detail and livliness...
Your poem was deep and thoughtful. I think there could be a little more reference to the "am i so lost" part of it. Having that at the end kind of threw off the flow of the poem. Either get rid of the "am i so lost" part at the end or keep it there and add it earlier in the poem as well. Over all-you're a great writer and in a beautiful way-you express your thoughts and feelings through poetry.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
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